she said
your eyes are too big too startling too blue
you stare at me when I enter the room
she said
you’re not as smart as everyone thinks you are
you’re really nothing special, you know
most of the time she said nothing to me
moved around me like I were furniture
only less valuable than the chairs or tables
that she had wanted and chosen for herself
not like an imposed disaster that upended her life
I had to stop flinging myself again and again
against the stone wall of her implacable rejection
made worse by the love she displayed to others
a flawed love but tender nonetheless
years passed and much work
I viewed her with relinquished need
still in unguarded moments
her words echo in the background
their harsh judgment ringing sharply
overriding what I know
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