A Mother’s Words (Poem)

she said

your eyes are too big too startling too blue

you stare at me when I enter the room

she said

you’re not as smart as everyone thinks you are

you’re really nothing special, you know

most of the time she said nothing to me

moved around me like I were furniture

only less valuable than the chairs or tables

that she had wanted and chosen for herself

not like an imposed disaster that upended her life

I had to stop flinging myself again and again

against the stone wall of her implacable rejection

made worse by the love she displayed to others

a flawed love but tender nonetheless

years passed and much work

I viewed her with relinquished need

still in unguarded moments

her words echo in the background

their harsh judgment ringing sharply

overriding what I know

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