Relapse (Poem)

Grief hits in so many ways.

Today her cries of pain and the fall to the floor

Have transformed me anew again.

I am become a solid wooden thing,

Heavy and stiff-moving yet somehow

Still possessing a heart.

This heart sounds like a paper ripped in half as it breaks.

This heart feels like a knife stab in my chest as it beats.

I want so much to ease your suffering,

Would happily gather it into my body,

But I can’t.

So I’ll not let you see my distress

But do what little, what pitifully little, I can.

O my love, my dearest one,

I’ll never regret you and our life together.

But love can ask of us a terrible price,

And mine to pay is the witness, the wait, and the question in your eyes.

Please give me a little longer, I ask.

I don’t know how to answer.