Hallway to Nowhere

Author: Kel

Where Is My Country?

I read the morning news and wonder, “Wtf happened to the US I used to inhabit? Where did my country go?” I once lived in a place that, though there might be conflict and discord, was still civilized, somewhat predictable, and I felt safe. Now daily I read reports of science being under attack, mass-shootings, the unceasing rollback of LGBTQ rights, police targeting African Americans, and more. So much more thatmerely opening a newspaper feels risky. I have to steel myself for bad news.

We have a POTUS (#notmypresident) who is unstable, vicious, petty, and often incoherent. No-one, not his staff, his administration, nor even himself knows he will say or do next. Other nations are understandably nervous about this. He has insulted more countries and heads of state than I care to note. Rather than going about the business of governing, he spends his time reacting to whatever catches his attention and attacking anyone (esp. women) and anything that he feels threatened him.

Meanwhile, though the GOP controls both the House and the Senate and the Supreme Court, they have been unable to pass a healthcare bill. The infighting in the GOP and the continuing resistance from Democrats reflects the fractured state of the country and the chaotic trickle-down of instability from the WH. The polarization is so extreme that a citizen attempted a major attack on Congress members, driven largely by partisan frustration. Protests continue to roil the landscape and often turn into violent confrontations.

The situation is dire enough that states do not feel secure in the union. I read about movements in both California and Texas to SECEDE entirely, both being stark examples of the the left and the right. States and cities increasingly have to act on their own to protect vulnerable citizens-religious minorities (Muslims, Jews, basically anyone who is not Christian), LGBTQ individuals, immigrants, minorities, and women-in an effort to shield them from fallout from the capitol. Sometimes they do so, but often they fail and even join in the efforts to curtail their rights and safety.

I could go on. The utterly dystopian ad by the NRA comes to mind. But I will stop here. I wrote this largely out of grief. I’m in a state of mourning for a world that seems far removed from the country I inhabited only a year ago. I wish this were just a momentary lapse in continuity. But I fear now: for my nation, my fellow citizens, and myself.

July 2, 2017
WTF: Trump’s Iowa Rally And The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are Republicans and then are Trump supporters. His Iowa rally proved that for me beyond any shadow of a doubt. After that campaign rally-and that’s what it was, call it what you will-I now think that WHAT Trump says matters not one bit to his base. What matters is his PRESENCE, and I keep getting unnerving flashes of Hitler at HIS rallies, when I see Trump among his followers.

Why do I say this? Let’s look at one of the things they were cheering: A solar-panelled wall that would save money for Mexico. SERIOUSLY??? Trump has consistently spoken out AGAINST clean energy. He disparaged wind turbines, a notable source of energy for many Iowans. He took the U.S. out of the Paris agreement, causing us to rebuked by NORTH KOREA. Trump claimed this was HIS idea, btw. Ahem, not true. This idea was explored in a WSJ Op-ED piece AND by one of the companies that submitted a design to the government. But, despite this, the crowd cheered on. Why let some glaring inconsistencies and downright lies spoil the fun. Let’s not go into the whys and wherefores of why this wouldn’t work and would be a waste of money, even should it be proven possible.

Then there’s the whole “save money for Mexico” bit. People thought THIS was great, too. After all, we want to do as much to help our neighbor to the south as possible, right? Trump and his supporters have ALWAYS been strongly in favor of aiding Mexico….ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT! Trump has done more to anger and disempower Mexico than any president in my lifetime. I won’t say ever b/c I haven’t done enough research. But he talks about NAFTA, factories moving to Mexico, and we won’t even go into what he says about actual Mexicans. (I know I get keep saying “Let’s not go into….” . Sorry. So much Trump, so little time.)

That was just a dissection of one of the things he said. I’ve said this before but am more convinced of it than ever: Trump supporters do NOT care about Trump’s words, tweets, ideas, or positions, content-wise. I truly believe he could announce that he would be personally sacrificing a kitten to Satan (in whom I don’t believe FYI) on the White House lawn EVERY morning, surrounded by 3 Goldman-Sachs execs, sorry, cabinet members and people would be convinced that this was FINE. Fox and Friends would provide commentary on how kitten sacrifices were an American tradition dating back to the Revolutionary times…and did you know that Abraham Lincoln himself sacrificed a BLACK kitten in the Oval Office? SMH in disgust……

June 24, 2017
WTF: Trump’s Iowa Rally And The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are Republicans and then are Trump supporters. His Iowa rally proved that for me beyond any shadow of a doubt. After that campaign rally-and that’s what it was, call it what you will-I now think that WHAT Trump says matters not one bit to his base. What matters is his PRESENCE, and I keep getting unnerving flashes of Hitler at HIS rallies, when I see Trump among his followers.

Why do I say this? Let’s look at one of the things they were cheering: A solar-panelled wall that would save money for Mexico. SERIOUSLY??? Trump has consistently spoken out AGAINST clean energy. He disparaged wind turbines, a notable source of energy for many Iowans. He took the U.S. out of the Paris agreement, causing us to rebuked by NORTH KOREA. Trump claimed this was HIS idea, btw. Ahem, not true. This idea was explored in a WSJ Op-ED piece AND by one of the companies that submitted a design to the government. But, despite this, the crowd cheered on. Why let some glaring inconsistencies and downright lies spoil the fun. Let’s not go into the whys and wherefores of why this wouldn’t work and would be a waste of money, even should it be proven possible.

Then there’s the whole “save money for Mexico” bit. People thought THIS was great, too. After all, we want to do as much to help our neighbor to the south as possible, right? Trump and his supporters have ALWAYS been strongly in favor of aiding Mexico….ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT! Trump has done more to anger and disempower Mexico than any president in my lifetime. I won’t say ever b/c I haven’t done enough research. But he talks about NAFTA, factories moving to Mexico, and we won’t even go into what he says about actual Mexicans. (I know I get keep saying “Let’s not go into….” . Sorry. So much Trump, so little time.)

That was just a dissection of one of the things he said. I’ve said this before but am more convinced of it than ever: Trump supporters do NOT care about Trump’s words, tweets, ideas, or positions, content-wise. I truly believe he could announce that he would be personally sacrificing a kitten to Satan (in whom I don’t believe FYI) on the White House lawn EVERY morning, surrounded by 3 Goldman-Sachs execs, sorry, cabinet members and people would be convinced that this was FINE. Fox and Friends would provide commentary on how kitten sacrifices were an American tradition dating back to the Revolutionary times…and did you know that Abraham Lincoln himself sacrificed a BLACK kitten in the Oval Office? SMH in disgust……

June 24, 2017
Put Down Your Cell Phone-A Creeper Trail Rant

RANT WARNING!

Every morning my dog and I take a long walk on the Creeper Trail. The Creeper is one of the many things I love about Abingdon. It’s a great place to walk and enjoy the beauty of our gorgeous area. We generally go early before 8AM to avoid others and before the heat of the day becomes oppressive. At that time of the morning traffic is usually light on the trail and to and from the trail. (I live less than a block from the trail entrance so we walk.)

This morning I counted FOUR people on their cell phones! I wanted to say, “You’re on the Creeper! Put your phone away!” For one thing, it is DANGEROUS. We get bikers on the trail frequently. I’m sorry to say that most I’ve encountered do NOT signal when passing, though trail rules (clearly posted at the head of the trail) state that they must do so. I’ve almost been hit several times though no fault of my own. My dog and I walk well to the right; she is on a VERY close lead (not a free-ranging retractable lead like some dogs I’ve encountered); I try to be alert to my surroundings. But bikers are quiet and sometimes going extremely fast. If you don’t hear them, then you get no warning. So a walker paying attention to his phone in the middle of trail (and it is narrow in places) could be toast.

For another thing, and this is purely a personal opinion, YOU ARE ON THE CREEPER, for fuck’s sake. If you want just a place to get your exercise, there is a macadamized track at the Coome’s Center. Put the phone away for the duration of your walk. Take time to disengage. Look at the trees, fields, and squirrels. Smell the different aromas of the trail (this morning was distinctly musky). Greet your fellow trail denizens. BREATHE……and remember that there is a life beyond the electronic world. (And I say that despite my love of the internet.)

June 22, 2017
Gay?Not Okay! Anti-LGBTQ Legislation Continues To Be Passed

Remember DJT promising to be a great friend to “the gays” and brandishing a rainbow flag at his rallies (well, at at least one rally that was photoghaphed)? So much for that! The rollback of protection for LGBTQ indviduals and couples coninues apace, as states pass laws that place “religious liberty” above the rights of LGBTQ citizens and deny the protection of law from those who are most often targeted. The courts in one state, Mississippi, even went so far as to pass an entirely redundant law to PROTECT those engaged in anti-LGBTQ discrimination.

And lest you think this is purely a Southern state phenomenon, the courts of South Dakota, North Dakota, AND Michigan joined Virginia, Alabama, Texas, West Virginia, and as mentioned, Mississippi, to pass laws that either allow institutions to discriminate against LGBTQ persons in the name of religion or deny LGBTQ persons protect from hate-crimes. Apparently, along with no longer being counted in the Census, we can no longer do things like adopt children, GET BURIED (Mississippi-why am I not surprised?), or oh, I don’t know….JUST EXIST without being an affront to right-thinking people everywhere.

This is not to be taken lightly. We need to treat this seriously. Just because OBergefell became law doesn’t mean a f…. thing anymore. We need to get out and put people into office who will stand up for HUMAN RIGHTS. Not tomorrow. Not next week. NOW. Stand up; speak out; RESIST and VOTE!

May 14, 2017
Where Are You From?-A Southern Question

Since the removal of the Confederate statues in NOLA continues to be in the news, the South is on everyone’s radar. Something happened at work that really caught my attention, juxtaposed as it were with the business with issues of the statues, history, race, and Southern identity in general. I had overheard a conversation between a colleague of mine ( a person born in the South and very much a Southerner) and a person who had moved here from the Northeast. She was aking him why people in the South always ask the question, “Where are you from?” She said that she never got that question in other parts of the country. I’ve lived in other places (the midwest, greater NYC) and she is indeed correct. When I lived and worked in those places, no-one ever inquired as to my origins unless my accent slipped out. (I don’t have much of a Mississippi accent. My mother went to extreme lengths to ensure that I spoke with a neutral accent, not the mush-mouth that my more upstate cousins had.)

I ‘ve been thinking about that question. WHY do we here in the South ask that question? And it is usually the second thing that follows hello, the first being an inquiry as to whether you want a glass of sweet tea. I discussed it with a friend of mine who was not from the South originally but who lived in Louisiana for a long time. I proposed that we do it as a tribal thing, to find out who your people are, because we might be related. (A deceased friend once half-jokingly claimed that everyone in the South was related to everyone else.) My friend retorted that it might be a tribal thing but to see if you are one of us or not, to establish bona fides, i.e. are you a Southerner?

That lead to the reflection that the South is the only region of the US that has an unique geographical identity. I’m hardly the first nor the last person to make this claim. It has a hold on me as an individual, like it or not. I am a Southerner, though I like to describe myself as reconstructed Southerner. I’ve hated this fact, tried to escape it geographically by moving to NYC, and finally made my peace with it. I grew up in Mississppi, lived and worked in the heart of the Deep South (the Mississippi Delta), and have known and loved Southerners. I’ve hated some of them, too. But in my maturity I recognize that I can’t erase the fact that I was born and bred in the deepest South, though I don’t have to the subscribe to the “Never Forget” attitude many take in regard to the Civil War and to the not-so-subtle racism that still lingers in those who wish to bring back Jim Crow laws and worse. I actively attempt to overcome my white privilege by educating myself. I read as much as I can, watch podcasts, docs, movies, and series that will help me get over myself. I will never know what it means to be an African American or any other minority (except Jewish, of course) in the South but perhaps I can intellectually understand and notintentionally be such a jerk.

I’m listening to the The Dead South, btw.

May 13, 2017
Statues, Memory, And Soil

I’ve been reading lately about the heated atmosphere surrounding the removal of statues of Confederate figures in New Orleans. I know those statues and have often used them to give directions to people attempting to get to various places in the French Quarter. I’ve followed the story of their plight with some interest, as I am from the South and this IS a particularly and peculiarly Southern problem. The South is dotted with statues, obelisks, plaques, and other monuments to the glorious heroes and fighters of the Lost Cause. Now, mind you, when you grow up in the South, as a young child it can be a LONG TIME before anyone ever tells you THAT THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOST THE WAR! I had extraordinary parents who did do and at an early age. I reasonably asked,”Then why are there statues of them everywhere?” My father sighed and replied, “This is the South; that is a difficult question; you’re much too young for hard liquor.”

Personal history aside, I’ve heard the arguments that we should leave these things up for the sake of history and as some sort of teaching instuments. I find those argument totally and completely spurious. For the sake of history? Like the entire South is going to have a complete bout of amnesia, should the monuments get taken down? The battles of the Civil War and the struggles upon which it was based-that of slavery and man’s oh-so-human urge to trample wholesale on the rights of others based on skincolor-are soaked into the very soil of the Southern states. Southerners, whether there by birth or geographical accident and whatever their race-are confronted with the legacy of the slavery every day, like it or not. I hardly think that the absence of some statues will make us forget. Not when we’ve got neighbors who persist in flying the Confederate flag from their pick-up truck or porch. Not when we’ve got the legacy of Jim Crow lingering in our voting districts, our laws and our attitudes. Not when when we’ve got a resurgence of white supremacists looking back fondly to a society that exists only in fiction and calling it the South. I’m not sorry to see the statues et al. coming down. As for the “Never forget!” contingent, some of us are busy trying to build a new society, not hark back to the Old Dixie that lives mainly in your beer cans and fevered imagination.

May 8, 2017
Twin Peaks Revisited- Let Me Rave Again A Damn Fine Show

Spoiler Alert

This show was a cult hit back in my day. From the very first episode I am overwhelmed with reasons why it become so popular. I find myself drawn back into the strange dream-like world immediately. This time however I am able to stand apart and marvel at what the show does and how it does it. I’m no professional film critic, mind you. Here is what I see:

From the very beginning both graphics and music are used cunningly to aid the plot. You see Agent Cooper driving in and remarking on the beauty of the trees. Notice how the words themselves are reinforcing the background of the landscape. This happens in other places, as in the scenes where Agent Cooper is in his motel room. He usually adds a short memorable phrase to his assistant that always describes his motel room. Add to this the skillful use of haunting music. Not too much, just enough. I heard it at the edges of my dreams all night.

The show is so uncluttered. In Episode 1 there was a fight in the roadhouse that almost appeared like the characters were performing a stylistic dance. Even in scenes in the forest you see just what is necessary and nothing more. This restraint extends to the characters’ language, too. They say just what needs to be said without extraneous verbiage. This restraint extends to other aspects of the show as well. I sometimes have “watched” other shows merely by listening to them while I did something else on the computer. Not Twin Peaks. I want to experience every detail, because everything matters.

The use of language is amazing. From the iconic phrases that spring from Agent Cooper’s interactions with the town-“a clean place at a reasonable price”, “a damn, fine cup of coffee”, just to list a couple-to the way that Norma and Shelley describe a day of beauty, the wording is pithy, well-chosen, and to the point. I’ve found myself repeating catch-phrases from the show during the day just b/s they have such mouthfeel.

Lastly, but never least, with his characters Lynch skates the fine line between caricature and portraiture with such artistry that I am bedazzled. Agent Cooper is the very image of the straight-edged Feebie…but he has visions of firewalking and gets his clues by deep intuition. The sheriff is the stereotypical small-town sheriff….who just happens to belong to an age-old secret society that protects the town from ancient evil. The plot itself centers around the murder of the home-coming queen and most popular girl in town…who is turning out to hold secrets connected to everyone in town. No-one and nothing are what they seem. Yet all of these characters ARE those things they appear to be. It’s just that in the world of Twin Peaks, there is SO much more to their story and to the story of Twin Peaks itself.

I’m conflicted about Season 2. How can it possible measure up?

May 8, 2017
Trump’s Religious Liberty Executive Order-A Call To Arms

If this was an actual repeal of the Johnson Amendment, I would be greatly alarmed. BUT, like many of Trump’s orders, this is sturm und drang aimed at mollifying his more conservative Evangelical Christian followers and as usual it failed to do even the job for which it was designed. I’ve read the order and some some excellent analyses of it. In the end, it boils down to little more than Trump instructing to tell the IRS to do something it does anyway. No religious leaders or organizations have actually been persecuted under the Johnson Amendment. It is more of a cautionary “Smokey Bear” threat looming in the horizon- and often ignored in the breech. During the recent election, especially, pastors took to the pulpits to give their opinions on both candidates and give moral guidance on politcal issues. And no IRS agents appeared at their doors.

The order also contains some language designed to give companies that are religiously owned and operated more leeway in terms of granting their employees birth control. WHY is this still an issue? There a work-around built into the ACA that allow the insurance company to do so, thus freeing the company itself doing so. (Don’t even get me started on Trumpcare.) But apparently this does not go far enough. I suppose religious organzations like Hobby Lobby (snort) and Little Sisters of the Poor want it taken totally off the table. I disagree that they should be allowed to do this. They are NOT in the business of healthcare and should not be allowed to dictate what healthcare their employees receive. But I digress. The language of Trump’s order about this is incredibly vague and doesn’t really say anything beyond a call to draft new rules letting businesses draft rules that would allow them to avoid giving employees contraception and that ALREADY is in place.

So. Trump by himself cannot repeal the Johnson Amendment. THAT takes an act of Congress. He is being sued by the Freedom from Religion Foundation (GO ATHEISTS!) on behalf of secularists everywhere, since the ACLU declined to bring suit. I would like to see what would happen if more pastors, priests, preachers, imams, rabbis, Pagans of all stripes, Hindus, Sikhs, Pastafarians, Satanists, etc started taking advantage of this “religious liberty” order! Let’s hear from ALL of you, not just Trump’s far-right anti-LGBTQ xenophobic Neo-Con Fundies! Let’s get political, people! Let’s PARTY…and I’m speaking DEMOCRAT SOCIALIST!

May 6, 2017
The Mirroring Effect Of Twin Peaks

I decided to flee from the harrowing political landscape into the welcoming embrace of Netflix. I found, much to my delight, that Twin Peaks has released a SECOND season and thought that this would be just the thing thing to take my mind off possibly losing my healthcare, my immigrant friends, and that pesky nagging thing….not being bombed by anyone with nuclear capabilities lately b/c our prez went eyeball to hairy eyeball with the OTHER madman currently ruling a nation. I was a Twin Peaks fan(atic) when it arrived on television back in the day. It was the the first and only thing I was remotely cultish about, unless you count the fling I had with Rocky Horror Picture Show in my misbegotten youth. And it turned me on to David Lynch in a huge way! Not only did I follow Twin Peaks with rabid devotion, but I made a point of finding every movie and television show he did afterwards and watching those, also. Even the children’s films. But I digress.

I decided to watch the first season again, from love and b/c it’s been a number of years since I’ve watched it and I wanted to make sure the story was fresh in my mind for Season 2. Twin Peaks Season 1 was odd enough in itself, even without the eerie sound-track playing in the background. I tried watching it with subtitles and-yep! Still weird AF. But I turned the sound back on and proceeded to settle in to reacquaint myself with Twin Peaks and its inhabitants.

Then the mirroring effect kicked in. I found myself watching myself watch Twin Peaks in my memory on television. But I was also watching Twins Peaks on my computer. This felt rather strange, almost trippy (from what I can gather from friends’ descriptions), but I couldn’t make it go away! This occurred only for Season 1. I haven’t gotten to any episode of Season 2 yet. I’m going to try and go with this, as watching Twin Peaks the FIRST time around messed with my mind. So why shouldn’t the second? I’ve come to expect bizarreness to ensue when I watch David Lynch. I wonder what will happen when I get to Season 2? And I wonder what it would be like to watch Twin Peaks while drinking ayahuasca? Not that I’ll ever know, mind you, since I’m unlikely to encounter a trained shaman where I live. And were I to do so, I doubt he/she/whatever would consider watching Twin Peaks to be something to do under the effects of the tea. But you never know…..

May 6, 2017