a snarling beast come to claw
each unwise movement or unwary breath
rakes me with ferocious speed
stops me and makes me blind
for a moment not existent at all
I had forgotten this lesson
offered by overwhelming pain
the shattering of self again and again
the unexpected intensity a kindness granted
this a valued reminder
and the people that walk beside the tracks
in the colder hours of these cold days
shoulders bent against the harsh wind
hands tucked into pockets
coats thin against the bitter chill
these the often unseen
the rest of us do not take notice
ordinary lives rest on the lives of others
not lightly but with crushing weight
do we be less heavy a burden
do we even begin to see them
do we recognize we are them
what happens when someone shrugs
and we all come crashing down
as a child I learned that time
was not the order claimed by the clock
but some more malleable thing, viscous and pliant
like gumbo clay after a hard summer rain
the afternoon hours hung across the sky
dripping their minutes into the hot humid air
so slowly that they stretched into forever
and even the restless ocean became still
I let my mind quieten then, became eternal
again and again with each breath
found the end and begin of all creation
no birth no in between life no death
just this one moment, just this
the pavement slick, darkened by fog and rain
leaking like oil from a damaged sky
firmament punctured by some sharp wing-tip
a bird careless as it wheels in surveying flight
an unwise deer skids into a flail
then falls into an ungainly heap of legs
lives to right itself and flee
into more hospitable grass, glistening blades
still soaked by dawn’s brief shine of light
there to pause for one considering glance
before disappearing into the mercy of distant trees
bushes, a few trees, stones on a slope of land
ruins of a church remain in that ground
birds, squirrels, a fox chatter back and forth
people murmured quietly outside the doors
easy to find the one but the other
lies beyond the casual attentional field
to see hear and feel through the quantum
to experience more of the whole
let your heart open in deep rapt attention
worth effort, worth time, worth care
be curious be brave be bold
this is the time of dormancy, land fallow the sun likewise
trees skeletal against a washed out sky, leaves abandoned seasonal dreams
the wet cold ground their resting place
corvids the most visible birds, except for the clock of the overhead geese
rain becomes snow becomes rain again, the demarcation of daylight blurs
when the clock reads 10pm, it startles both body and mind
somnolence seeming the natural state
the world hushed and silent as it rests in that brief gap
between inhale and exhale, winter the inspiratory pause
as a child I asked the wisest person I knew
how do we know the sky is blue
not pink or green or grey or black
because sometimes it is those
is this merely an agreement some group made
amongst themselves and then all followed
why does it have color at all
being a collection of things not a thing itself
the wise man being extremely wise
gave no answers but sat with me
and together we gazed at the changing colors of the sky
why call the cloudless sky and bright sun deceptive
more so than the chilling cold or the bitter wind
winter’s storms have been traveling the mountains
even without these the time to don warmer clothes
build nighttime fires pile blankets on beds has arrived
so look instead at your own mind before casting blame
on weather that happens as weather does
let the judgment rest where it should and ask
which of these lies within my control
then put on a coat next you leave the house
stand with outstretched arms
fill one hand with lowering grey clouds
massed at the bottom of the hill
pull the sodden darkness
with the other reach towards sunlit sky
breaking over the ridge
draw the glowing warmth
these two meet within your clasped hands
their interplay before you
one two three breaths
the empty road glistens in the rain
that one tree kept some leaves scattered through its branches
to catch that certain slant of winter light from a setting sun
making those leaves glitter so brightly golden
they dimmed nearby artificial trees in shabby comparison
that three people saw this arboreal illumination
and by this brief sight became joined in awe
connected now in common knowledge of natural glory
strangers no more but fellow residents of the same world
let me always look for these events
for they are ever present and will save me
let this be enough
let me remember to see
