because I love you-how can I not
I will once again break my heart
offer you the pieces on my best thrift store plate
knowing you will not notice my offer, or if you do
disdain it as worth nothing at all
the piled shards webbed with metallic threads
the repairs I made beautiful over the years
breaking it again and again to give you all I had
for a time we lived in the same place
yet inhabited different homes
I saw walls hung rich with art
ate meals from hand-thrown plates
slept on a bed built with love
you didn’t notice paintings at all
thought pottery worthless bits of clay
had no care for handmade things
saddened I see this still in you
though you place no value in what I think
you have turned the world into your mirror
all you see is your glittering self
even my love could not pull your gaze
travel back now to the home you left
the home from which you were banished
to the doors which you closed behind you
the doors that refused you admittance
paint the walls with your tears
let them run with streaks of icy blue
then throw your laughter bright upon them
and walk away forever this time
the doors thrown open in invitation to all
the house finally empty of all sorrow
leaving only your many discarded faces
a tree grew on the banks of the bayous
shadowed for long periods but with filtered sun
enough to thrive and reach out over the waters
it sheltered nutria beneath its shade
sometimes a human would rest there
in verdant silence undisturbed and find
a moment of stillness would settle their mind
the tree’s gift, drawn up from deep roots
offered to any who drew near
but the tree became tall and the bayou traveled
so one day men came with saws
the noise they made filled the air
each cut into the bark shriller than the last
at the end as they left, they looked back at the clearing
stopped in their tracks by a sudden peace
a short-eared owl lives nearby
augur of transition and wisdom
for my reflections on walks in the field
for itself just itself purely being an owl
watchful for prey and predators alike
at home for a while in these trees
may I be as aware of the present moment
and dwell as easily in the temporary abode
a vulture vigilant on the dead tree
a lone sentinel to silent decay
no need to call a wake upon this rotting
all are watchmen unwitting or not
moulder begets beauty and corpse bugs glitter
death another step on the path
driven to the refuge of shadows
so not to become her mother’s sacrificial prey
another child offered to uncaring gods
by a parent bent on insane pursuit of their own goals
she watched as her mother danced about with gibbering glee
and even as she shouted in her madness
words that jangled with sharp strident barbs
and waved her anger hotter than any blazing branch
Electra loved her, even as she wept in fear
her features sharpened to a knife’s edge
her voice given over to vinegar’s bite
her gaze still meets like the first freeze of autumn
she has no more reasons for softness’ pretense
the falseness of honeyed concern
once again she is free from usual constraint
keep close watch and take heed
else she might burn the house down around her
again, and as before laugh at the devastation
do you care if your children scream in the flames
three times I came to his door, three times
knocked and knocked until he answered
the first I brought nothing but a quiet entreaty
he turned me away with a shake of his head
the gray skies of autumn and a colding wind
made me shiver as I walked home
the second I offered familial connections
he paused in memory before refusing again
the creak of the ship with its salt-sodden chambers
surrounded me briefly as I stood on his sill
the third I came armed with words that surprised him
keys to a knowledge I should not have known
reluctant but intrigued, he invited me in
a cup of tea, and thus we began,
thus we began, my teacher and I
then a cataclysmic event washes over our world
we find ourselves stunned amidst debris
the illusion of permanence stripped away
in despair we try even more
root our delusions deep into the ground
with harder materials and fortified means
instead we could with newfound awareness
learn from the spider how to build gossamer webs