smoke and ash haze the sky

their murk a blind concealing the sun

nothing new in this fire

the world has always burned

even in the coldest ice

knowing this

do we see only the flames

or choose to rest and look beyond

to the clear light from the moon and stars

our own awareness as it abides

the house falls around us

walls collapsing one by one

roof-beams so rotted they cannot hold

flooring derelict beyond repair

still we turn our faces away

choosing to ignore each crash

our eyes fixed in rabid gaze

on the dirty mirror where we think we live

and in our disordered ignorance

everything glitters with fake tawdy shine

ground overhung with fog and drip from trees

all light subdued and noise muffled

the lone volunteer pink rose now decimated

replaced by a pale white glory more fitted to the hour

tracks uncharacteristically silent

the railroad corvids yet to convene

until after the train’s blasting rumble

detritus trail their reason to gather

the stream beside the field similarly uninhabited

its usual raft of ducks absent

its murmur now audible without their squawk and paddle

an accompaniment to the huff of my dog

rainbow-hued ribbon of birdsong

curling through branches and along rooftops

a threaded brightness pointing beyond

to the ever-present light of the sun

I followed the talk

the chatter and clack among them all

and saw it unfold from the sodden field

there it was, in stark shades of black and gray

upon the rusted brown rails

themselves the color of old blood and unresolved grudges

not a murder, but something far worse

an unkindness on the tracks

I watched in silence for only a short while

then quietly walked away

taking care that I left unseen, unheard, unnoticed

I had enough regret that weighed me down

my own rude unfriendly acts

that chilled like poison I had given myself

so did not need their critical eyes or sharp attention

my own bitter burden would suffice

this knowledge of my small small heart

let me do better

in the body’s dissolution

when water can no longer sustain

will you miss your tears

they arrived as heralds

for your sorrows, for your joys

for your angers and frustrations

and signified that you lived

salted as the primordial sea

their sting and burn called you back

back to ancient beginnings

back to your original self

back to your corporeal moment

when your time of dying arrives

and the stage of dryness occurs

let all these go

relax in assurance

they are never lost forever

but join in the vast illimitable flow

they burn

so that you have to look away

close your eyes

lest your life be seared

bury the memory of the flames

deep beneath your fearful skin

and think that hidden

the fiery letters sputter out

extinguished

not even marked by a trail of smoke

in the hour of death’s arrive

when agony screams or acceptance smiles

and the bones begin their final dance

these words appear again

etched from the skeletal surface

rise with gilded wings

shining above the funeral pyre

what words are these

do not ask

each carries their own ashes

in the cinerary of their open heart

these we carry like outsize stones

our back bent beneath such burden

our steps made to falter and halt

as we seek in vain to adjust the weight

and yet we cling to these attachments

the expectations that hold us bound

our hearts confused that they represent love

mistaking leaden rocks as precious jewels

scared to drop them and let ourselves breathe

lest lighter we rise into the vast expanse

in the journey to home, what do I carry

even the lightest of memories can burden

the wrinkled hands of my grandmother preparing jam

the salty bite from a wave stinging my eyes

the throaty calls of bullfrogs sending me to sleep

the orange moon filling the night beyond my childhood window

these have filled my coat pockets

their bittersweet weight heavy as stones

if I drop them, will I walk easier on the road

or float away from any ground, dispersing all self into the sky