This is a time of abeyance,
A lacuna before the coming of fall.
The air shimmers with heat
And the low buzz of insects.
Rainfall offers little respite,
Only plangent noise.
How not to repine
And search for a proem
In cooler nights and darkening days?
A slight anticipation, a catching of the breath,
Heralds the moment of great change.
The world tilts, and the possibilities
Open myriad paths.
What lies ahead on any of them?
The only way to know is to proceed.
The train sounds its mournful cry.
They are gone now,
No longer present to hear the whistle,
To see the graffitied cars roll past,
To feel the ground rumbling beneath their feet.
I can say no more
Let us have a cup of tea
And offer the latest from China.
But I can hold them fast
In memory and by recounting the many stories
Of how they lived while they were here.
Love and all we shared does not disappear.
We grow older together, you and I.
Our gait has slowed,
And hills are harder to climb.
But we still dance in sometimes wild abandon;
You can manage occasional astounding leaps.
We spend our days quietly now,
With me at my writing or with a book,
You always at my side.
I know that when I do go out,
You worry and fret more,
So that we are both relieved when I return.
Always, always in my heart
Is the knowledge that you are aging faster.
I try to fill our time remaining
With all the love and gratitude I can give.
You have made life beautiful and wonderful and joyful
In ways I never anticipated.
Thank you, my beloved companion.
I didn’t jump, but I remember
The long walk to the edge.
Each step felt like a promise;
Each breath felt like a scream.
The relentless drum beat
Counting down my life
Had as its message:
Today; today; today.
I stood there and listened,
As I looked at the rocks far below.
Then I turned and began the journey back.
————————————————————————————————————-
IF you or someone you know is considering suicide:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-8255
Reach out.
We look around at a landscape
Forever altered by the presence of nuclear weapons.
We stand and wonder,
Where is our home? And who will lead us there?
We hear the inexorable ticking of the clock
As it moves closer to midnight.
Do not turn away and hide.
That seems the easy path, but it is futile.
We must open our eyes, our ears, our hearts, and our minds
To join together to repair this broken world.
The varied clothing of our differences-
Be they religion, skin color, nationality or any other-
Does not change our relation underneath.
Everyone is part of the family of humanity.
Let us choose life, so that all might live.
My dog gave proof that she is more
Than the pretty construct in my mind
And a wonderful companion.
She is teeth and claws and a fierce heart.
She will strike with deadly force
And kill to defend to our home.
She remembers that she is related to wolves,
Even though I did not.
She is a working dog,
And her talents are myriad and great.
I am so grateful to have her in my life.
Trying to hold on.
Unsure if I can.
I’m on the precipice.
I don’t know whether
To look down
(To see the void into which I’ll fall)
Or behind me
(To see if there is anything to steady me).
For now I remain here in painful indecision
Alone on this ledge.