grief makes it falter
forgetting of loss again and again
until this fact settles hard like a stone
in the the crevice of the body
love continues its passage now subterranean
the tumble and flow turning even sharp sadness
into worn river rock polished by time
yet still sometimes in the night
I feel her warm by my side and know
each moment with her was enough
eternity itself would not have sufficed
an ordinary walk on an ordinary day
and then
the road rumbles from unseen force
the sky darkens with sodden clouds
the corvids mutter with ominous intent
any step seems to offer momentous risk
I could fear could be afraid could choose fright
instead I laugh at all of this continue on my way
let unkindness and murder remain with the crows
weighty drama in the realm of changing weather
these do not inform nor enforce my path
these temporary signs are not my directions
I hand you a diamond
hard cold polished clear faceted
a jewel beyond price
I hand you a heart
soft warm worn pink chambered
itself also beyond price
and with these a key that opens a door
where you find everything
with which you’ve filled your mind these years
would you then be happy
be at peace be able to rest in comfort and ease
no month crueler than any other
nor day nor year nor passing life
suffering not measured by tablespoons
not placed upon a balance scale
what joy weighs against what sorrow
when they look so much alike
a tear falls into your hand without warning
you do not know its source
wetness revealing neither happiness nor grief
you can only stare into the sky
stories layered upon stories
words swirling like dust in a storm
narratives constantly shifting
no self that controls
no point to be gotten
no center to be held
eventually the mad twirl settles
there once again is the clear light
morning sun and luminous sky
as you move through your life
may you always look for these
sparkles to catch your eye
lights to make your feet dance
ideas that you can tear apart
to reconfigure in interesting ways
stick all these things inside your heart
a kaleidoscope of hopes and dreams
let this play across the world
bright with love given and love received
and never ever fear to be exactly who you are
(for Dottie)
a small child learning to walk on the sand
useful lesson for balance and to learn
early how to step on ever-shifting ground
in the persistence of imaginative love
whenever I became unstable
she reached for me and held my hand
so that I did not fall
who went beside to steady my gait
it was not her never her someone else always
we lived in innocence among the dead
going in and out of the graves
a finger bone often stuffed inside a pocket
the deceased did not care so nor did we
dirt rocks bones ash were all
objects for wondrous endless play
only as we became older did we learn
that rain and tears are the same
and that a skeletal grin is a fearsome thing
(in my dreams I still run with storms
and toss a skull into the sky)
black armored trucks drive down Main Street
just passing through for now
but there are more of them
and they will stop somewhere in some town or city
to fulfil their ontological purpose
not here not yet and you might say not us
I’ve felt the street shake as they passed
and have seen the pavement crack beneath their wheels
when the ground shakes in these uncertain times
when the house no longer shelters from the moment’s storms
when the heart breaks from all it’s asked to carry
when tears fall faster than the flooding rain
let us hold each other
enfolded in the expanse of silent regard
with spacious kindness for all grief
be a staff in the fog that surrounds the day
a gentle warmth in night’s approaching chill
we have mourned so many deaths and died so many times
we have loved so much and given to each other in different ways
this is now familiar space
no presumption to guide, no offer but this
let us walk together at our own pace
let us walk together in peace
