How to delineate a life lived?
Let us use not temporal posts of days or years
But limn the finer measure
Of love given and received
Of kindness extended with a free hand
Of compassion shown in minute and larger ways
Of laughter shared with those around.
Choose to see joy
And continue to delight in our communal dance.
Early morning, a liminal time,
When the tenebrific skies seem poised
On some obscure threshold.
The air is quiet;
No birds yet sing to herald the day;
No wind or rain disturbs the transitory stillness.
The moment awaits any assignation of meaning.
For a brief few breaths,
The world is simply as it is.
My grey-cloaked companion has returned,
Their absence but a brief hiatus.
They have brought the usual accoutrements:
Worsening fatigue and malaise; a restless mind; heightened bodily aches;
And, of course, emotional pain.
I dared not think they would not be back
At some point in time.
But I had hoped to enjoy life a bit longer.
Change is the nature of things, though,
So I will endeavor to face this with equanimity
And continue on my path.
What is enough?
The cooler air of evening
After the heat of a summer’s day.
The petrichor that heralds
The relief of a dry spell.
The bright color of tigerlillies
Enlivening the yard.
The peace found in mountains
Distant with a covering of smoke.
Any of these.
All of these.
Let us rejoice and be glad.
There is you and there is me.
There is division.
Look deeper.
There is illusion.
What you thought was a warning,
A hand held up high,
Is in fact a greeting of welcome.
Perspective changes everything.
Open your mind.
Expand your heart.
You still live on.
Not in some celestial hall,
Separate from those you left behind,
And watching them go about their lives.
No, you remain present
In the stories we tell of you,
Among those who knew and loved you.
And you will reach strangers even yet,
As these are shared,
And people see your name to ask,
Who was this?
While we are here to remember and tell
And all those who come after us who have heard,
You will live.
I see you now,
Your face turned away from me
And hidden in shadow.
You will be everywhere
As I move through this changed life,
The one I used to live with you.
The birds you rescued have fledged and flown the nest.
I am slowly getting the house organized.
When I go out, people ask where you’ve been.
Sometimes I still can’t bring myself to answer.
This grief is yet very raw.
I will survive, but I miss you so.
Once again I find myself
A renitent gadfly, with a rebarbative voice.
Familiar but tiresome,
And I am loath to continue this charade.
I am no Ariadne in these times.
Indeed, should I be compared to anyone,
Give me the name of Cassandra.
I discomfit and discomfort
While being seen as caviling.
Let me go my solitary way.
I’ll soon be crying out for Charon anyway.
Do I sit here in quietness and contemplation?
I can do that, yes.
But right now I want to MOVE!
I hear the music and the beat,
And my body says dance, dance, dance
While you’ve got this chance, chance, chance.
And I feel the joy and the laughter
All around me in the songs
Healing all the wrongs
(Not just mine but the world’s)
I want to explode with wonder.
How did I number my days and nights this year past?
They sometimes seem to stretch so agonizingly into forever
Yet indeed they flee so razor-sharp fast.
I have found myself lost in memories , immersed in songs,
Even given to dancing, and tried to help right some wrongs.
Like all , I’m weighed in the balance, the scales will be set.
I’ll not ask nor expect mercy. Just Accept what I get.
