I wanted to hold the hours lightly

a leaf blown onto an open hand

found myself instead clenched

a snarling heart deprived of unknown desires

antidotes curtailed inadvertent violence to others

I breathed and sat with closed eyes

miserable soldiers with dead faces rampaged in vicious pillage

not fighting them all I could do

reaching my arms upwards in the warm grass

it seemed so blue and stretched so far

far enough to hold my dreams

not just mine but all dreams ever dreamed

and I watched them fill the air

twinkling lights hung from shrimping boats

Mardi Gras beads thrown to the clamor

here in the mountains as I walk

lowering thunderheads touch the ground

burdensome as heavy weights

those I carry and those bourne by all

discarded fiddles displayed on shopworn shelves

abandoned silos by the railroad tracks

I never thought to get so old

later they asked

did you walk down the road

to see the moon rising orange over the swampy grass

to hear the bull frogs croaking among the bearded trees

to breathe the salty musk of the falling night

I replied

no, I needed something somewhere

but those things too I did

and so he found me there alone, lost in the experience of it all

I have never remembered

where I meant to go or what I needed