Hallway to Nowhere

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  • Because She Died On A Late Winter’s Noon (Poem)

    I won’t throw sorrow to the winter yet, to have

    Grief blown in gusts through chimney smoke

    Tears mingled with drizzle down window panes

    Loss fractured like hard rime on the windward ridge.

    I keep it close as I would keep her,

    In full knowledge that this mourning cloak

    Provides no warmth with its cold black folds.

    I will let it go in time

    That time when I no longer fear

    That without its harsh comfort I would shatter.

  • The Fact Of Your Absence (Poem)

    I know and I don’t

    I cannot catch up

    My mind stutters

    My heart falters

    My body seizes

    I leave but look back

    I can see you

    Just beyond the reach of my eye

    When I return

    Hand on the door to open

    Each beat of my heart

    Each breath that I take

    Says only

    Be there

    Be there

    Be there

    My tears know

    My tears are wisest

    My tears grant my forgetful entirety

    The bitter sting of kindness

    The salty reminder of grief

  • Relapse (Poem)

    Grief hits in so many ways.

    Today her cries of pain and the fall to the floor

    Have transformed me anew again.

    I am become a solid wooden thing,

    Heavy and stiff-moving yet somehow

    Still possessing a heart.

    This heart sounds like a paper ripped in half as it breaks.

    This heart feels like a knife stab in my chest as it beats.

    I want so much to ease your suffering,

    Would happily gather it into my body,

    But I can’t.

    So I’ll not let you see my distress

    But do what little, what pitifully little, I can.

    O my love, my dearest one,

    I’ll never regret you and our life together.

    But love can ask of us a terrible price,

    And mine to pay is the witness, the wait, and the question in your eyes.

    Please give me a little longer, I ask.

    I don’t know how to answer.