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Grief, The Hard Road (Poem)
time marked in shorter blocks
framed by new questions
weighted with anxiety
can she will she should she
watchfulness and observance
closer than before
the world grown smaller
how to give her joy
I had prepared for the end
somehow not
for the journey there, the hard road
I walk
with her by my side
grief makes my footsteps heavy
love lightens them
she falters, I carry her
always cradled to my heart
she is my heart
-
Two Cries (Poem)
the first cry.
not unnoticed.
I turned at the faint sound.
yet unheard.
I went back to preparing a meal.
the second cry.
heard and seen as what it was.
pain and a plea for help.
I caught her as she fell.
my heart fell with her.
she is my heart.
-
A Mother’s Words (Poem)
she said
your eyes are too big too startling too blue
you stare at me when I enter the room
she said
you’re not as smart as everyone thinks you are
you’re really nothing special, you know
most of the time she said nothing to me
moved around me like I were furniture
only less valuable than the chairs or tables
that she had wanted and chosen for herself
not like an imposed disaster that upended her life
I had to stop flinging myself again and again
against the stone wall of her implacable rejection
made worse by the love she displayed to others
a flawed love but tender nonetheless
years passed and much work
I viewed her with relinquished need
still in unguarded moments
her words echo in the background
their harsh judgment ringing sharply
overriding what I know
