Can I hide behind my mask?

Or does it make me more conspicuous in the streets, the stores, the transit?

Certainly the graphics do stand out.

When paired with my black hoodie and Docs,

I look like a dark character from some illustrated novel.

Which is exactly the effect I aim for:

A disaffected dystopian wanderer.

Not Mad Max. Just weary and wary.

There’s a wonderful Hans Christian Anderson quote: “Where words fail, music speaks.” I think of that often these days. Music has always been a lifeline to me during times of trouble. (Right now I’ve Aoife O’Donovan playing, doing her wonderfully poignant cover of Springsteen’s album, Nebraska.) I grew up in a household that revolved around music and books and  good food, so these things became my things also. When you are an introvert kid who doesn’t play well with others, these are your escape. And when you grow up into an equally awkward adult who still doesn’t quite get how to human, these became even more essential.

And now, as my usual springtime depression settles in on top of COVID-19 problems, quarantine difficulties, and my other myriad physical health issues, MUSIC is speaking quite eloquently indeed. I would have lost it (what ever “it” is) multiple times over, had it not been for: Eminem; Dan Tepfer; X.T.X.; Gangstagrass; Aoife O’Donovan; Kraftwerk; Jason Isbell; Street Academics; Disturbed; Against Me; Bad Bunny; and so many others. The site of Bandcamp  needs its own mention. Check it out, if you want to get educated and support great music and musicians!

DJT has called us (but not him, bone spurs, you know) “warriors” in the fight to reopen the country, in hopes that this will ease the death toll and other hardships that are ensuing. The reckoning is upon him and his admin but falls upon the rest of the country to pay, as he denies, denies, denies responsibility for ANY of this.

Dear Mary:

The days grow longer, and time weighs heavily on me. I’ve read many books from the e-library and watched every show available on all three major streaming services. I might have to resort to Tiktok videos. I’ve baked loaves of banana bread, peanut butter bread with chocolate chips, and am STILL losing weight. Probably from the anxiety-pacing. (I’m keeping my steps up that way. Ha.) I trust the bread tastes okay but don’t know, as I haven’t regained my ability to taste or smell yet. My doc assures me it will return (but doesn’t really know this). Even Miss P, my beloved companion, is showing quarantine-related weirdness. She has become the very definition of “high maintenance” in regards to her food and will not eat from her bowl unless I’ve washed it and scooped the food straight out of the bin WITH the bowl. (I take some small comfort  in that others have reported that THEIR animal companions are also displaying their own oddities during this time.) I just read this morning that we are being directed in the line of duty to go back out into the world. My uniform is ready: gloves, masks, and of course, hand sanitizer. I just hope that those I will  be marching with have been suitably equipped. But of course they have! This is the U.S. of A!

Missing you always,

Kel