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  • It’s Time To Stop Saying “Senseless Shooting”

    After reading about 2 mass shootings in 2 different cities within 13 hours with a total of 29 people dead, I want to suggest that it is now way past time to stop calling these “senseless shootings”. From the virulent anti-immigrant manifesto penned by El Paso shooter, it is quite obvious that this was done for a very specific reason. It was calculated to target, kill, and further inspire terror in the greater Hispanic community at large and (he hoped) encourage them to flee the country.  Not random and not senseless. The motives for the Dayton, Ohio shooter were not as clearly or as neatly laid out, but it is known that he made out a hit list earlier.  So he definitely had this on on his mind. It also was not a random, senseless act, even if those killed were. The act itself was planned.

    A mass shooting takes forethought. It requires that you gain access to the weapons, conceal the weapons, and bring the weapons to the venue where the killing will take place. This in itself is prima facie evidence that that mass shootings cannot be termed “senseless”. YOU might not get why someone does such an act, but there is always a reason. And lately? It is tied up somehow with politics. I’m getting really fed up with the “thoughts and prayers” response. I mean sure, DO THAT, but also pass EFFECTIVE GUN CONTROL LAWS WITH TEETH, TOO!

  • Farmers Market Drama/Fragile Men

    This is another blog post which will not get posted to my social media. It is being written mainly for my own benefit, and I don’t expect anyone else to read it really. I’m still SMH in shock over two events that occurred and wondering how I ended up getting involved in FM drama. So here’s what went down:

    The first incident involved me and a friend sitting and having a convo. I had inquired how her grandson was doing, b/c he used to be a friend of mine and I knew that he had been having a rough time.  She said that he had had a stressful day or two then we moved on to other things. He was not the main topic, just a passing thread. We were laughing about something else when he storms up and begins yelling at her (and by extension me) that the next time she wants to talk about him, to do it to his face. I freeze. I’m unused to folks yelling and don’t know what to do. He storms back off, uninterested in a rational talk on the subject or in knowing WHAT we were in fact discussing. I’m torn between “WTF, dude!” and “Holy shit , J—“, does he need meds or something?” She says to just let it go. Since he addressed HER, I let it go. BUT I feel shaken nonetheless.  It left me feeling less welcome at the FM. (The grandson, btw, is not a youngster. He is in his 40s. He has been the subject of several of my blog entries. He’s the former chef who ghosted me.)

    The other incident also involved a fragile man. What IS it with guys and their egos? I almost titled this blog, “I’m Sorry Your D&ck Is So Small” out of sheer frustration.  Like, is that the root cause ? Idk.  I’m just speculating here, lol. So, on with my story. I get home to find an email awaiting from ANOTHER vendor. HE wants to knows why I’m “shunning him” and says its obvious that I’m very upset. Again, WTF?

    Okay, I haven’t been shunning you,  guy. OR your wife. And if you saw me “obviously upset” (?), maybe you saw me AFTER I had just been YELLED at by first fragile dude.  And now I come home to find an email from another man needing to have his needs met. Wonderful. What do you want from me?  I sent him back an email that was more tactful I felt like being. I said I hadn’t intended any rudeness towards him or his wife. I am having health issues that could account for my preoccupation. And, look, we don’t know each other socially except incidentally. I wasn’t mean or harsh. But basically I said in a nice way that life is not the XX (his initials) show, mine anyway.

     

    Then I made another playlist. I made AWESOME playlists on my YouTube channel, btw. This one I called “Grow The F&ck Up”. After spending time on it, I felt MUCH better.

    Here’s one of the songs:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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  • Feeling SO Outre As An Atheist In A Small Rural Town

    I belong to a discussion group on racial awareness. It is sponsored by the Episcopal Church and grew out of the Traces Of the Trade film/Sacred Ground.  The group that attends is composed of some church folk and some progressives, like me. The rector is aware that that some participants might not be Christian and might not even be believers at all, though I think I am the only atheist who attends this. He does a fairly good job, for a priest, at keeping HIS god-bothering to a minimum. Sadly, though, I can’t say the same for his church-going parishioners.  god is front and center in many conversations, and I find myself veering from uncomfortable to annoyed to WTF.

    Here’s an example. One of the parishioners this past time relayed two stories. The first had to do with how his “godly employees” had inspired him to stop his habit of cursing. I had to hold myself back from openly, one, laughing and two, commenting, “well, fuck, that definitely inspired ME!” His second story is much more disturbing. He confessed how delighted he was when, after a consultation with a surgeon in this area, upon being informed he would need surgery, the surgeon asked if he (the surgeon) could pray for him! Since I have fought more than one battle to keep this sort of thing from happening, I was quietly appalled. (My reply would have been a quick NO! You can do your job as my physician and keep your religious views to yourself, thank you! And perhaps file a report with Ballad. I take this sort of thing VERY seriously.) And and folks were sitting there getting all warm and fuzzy at his stories. So great to hear how he’s loving the community! Right?

    Ugh. I’m more and more uncomfortable. The whole discussion begins and ends with a prayer. Okay, fine. We ARE in church and this whole thing IS a church deal. So I can roll with that. And the rector doesn’t go heavy on the Jesus stuff. He tries to keep it sorta kinda to spirit-creator-god, for those who might not be into the whole Jesus schtick. But the others are just NOT be as respectful as he is. God-botherers seem to think that EVERYONE is as delighted as they to hear the good news, and isn’t it wonderful? Sigh. I have tried. Really. I have toned DOWN my militancy; NOT made any references to Hitchens or Dawkins or any other objectionable source out of deference to these peoples’ sensibilities. But while I get respect paid to my gender and sexuality (everyone is even careful with my pronouns), it is bleeping obvious that when it comes to me being an ATHEIST? Well, that means nothing, gets ignored, is run roughshod over, etc. etc. But I don’t know I’m willing to keep going back. I’m all for putting myself outside of my comfort zone. I TRY to do so on a regular basis. But  putting myself through regular sessions of targeted disrespect seems above and beyond. I’m not just sure this workshop is worth that.