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I Was Assaulted As An Undergrad (No Catchy Title)
This is my Harvey Weinstein story. I’ve never revealed this before. When I was in my first semester of college, a very young undergrad (age 16), I was sexually assaulted by a professor. Not only was he much older that I, married, he was also an administrator. He was not a prof in any of my classes but did run one of the programs in which I was enrolled. We had met at a party for the Honors College that I attended. (Just in case you are wondering, there was no alcohol or drugs at this gathering. ) We talked about literature. He mentioned that he lived not far from my apartment, and asked if I was interested in babysitting his son. I said that I would like to meet his son first, as he had indicated he had some disabilities, and I wanted to be sure I could physically cope with whatever was necessary. We agreed on a time to meet in the afternoon the next day.
I walked to his house. Now keep in mind that this was in the mid-70s so pre-cell phone and pre-PC. I really had no way to vet this guy other than to ask around and I had no reason to think I needed to do that. I mean, he was a person I would assume I should trust- an admin and a respected prof. So I blithely went off alone and didn’t mention to anyone where I was going. After all, I expected that his wife and son would be there. What was to worry about?
I should have worried. I arrived there to find him alone. He said his wife and son would be home soon. I thought, “Okay”. He took me into his study…how cheesy, right? We went in there and he pulled out a book to hand to me. He dropped it. I leaned to pick it up, the next thing I know, I’m on the floor with him on top of me…thinking WTF??? He’s a big guy and I’m not. He’s trying to kiss me; I’m turning away, and saying NONONONO. He keeps saying, “You came here, you came here, you came here….” Inside my head is the words NOT FOR THIS NEVER FOR THIS and he’s unzipping his pants but then the we hear a noise outside. His wife and son had returned. I’ve been saved. He whispers, “You wanted this this, you know.”
The next day I found a gift-wrapped copy of the Necronomicon had been delivered to my apartment, along with a note that said that he and his wife had an arrangement. If I tried to tell anyone what happened, she would say that I had seduced her husband. I was shaking as I read the note. I didn’t tell anyone. I just unenrolled from anything having to do with him, avoided him on campus, and made sure to tell my friends to do the same.
Looking back, I’m can see now that he was a predator plain and simple. I’m sure I was not the first student he had pulled that babysitting routine with and unfortunately, because I did not tell anyone, I was not the last. Why didn’t I tell? Because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I was a very young student. He was a reputable venerable professor in a postion of power and privilege. And I feared losing my early admission and having to return to high school. And I didn’t want to be seen as a victim. And I was ashamed… it gets turned around into, “that I allowed this to happen to me.”
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Time To Wake Up, Dems!
I was at a meeting of the Washington Co. Dems last night. We had MILLENIALS there! We had NEW PEOPLE there! We had CONCRETE THINGS TO DISCUSS! The VA gubernatorial race is fast coming to a close; we are working phone-banks to update our data-base AND to get out voters for the Dems; we have candidates runnings in local races for supervisors; and Mike FREAKING Pence is coming to town to stump for the Republican candidate for governor. I mean…WE HAVE THINGS TO DO!!!
So, after a fairly routine hour, we then spend almost THIRTY minutes discussing a Roberts Rule Of Order question concerning a quorum. I kid you not. This was debated with great seriousness and intensity and tedious detail. The millennials departed. And let me add that while the question of the quorum was being pondered, several lists were being circulated. Because that’s how the Dems here roll-we want everyone to sign pen and paper lists. Hello, digital world? We have computers and cell phones now! (Sorry, Michael. I know you are doing your best to drag the WaCoDems into the 21st century. ) After a few minutes I wanted to stick a sharp pen in my ear.
But THIS sort of meeting is EXACTLY why millennials (and maybe me after the election, I’m not sure yet) aviod the local Dems like the plague. When you have obvious important events going both locally, on a state level, and nationally, and you come to a meeting of the party that is supposed to be the party of choice (else the Republicans), and you get more nattering about rules than about what people can be DOING to affect change, then you are not going to attract people, esp. young people. I see SUCH a divide in this area among the young progressives I know and the older people in the Dems. The younger progressives are much more action-oriented and, more importantly, BELIEVE CHANGE IS POSSIBLE; the older folks I know, rightly or wrongly, are much more cautious, less confrontative (for the most part), and talk more about working within the system .
I had thought that we needed to bring the millennials to the Dems. Pfft! I no longer think that’s a viable idea. Maybe they can stage a progressive takeover in other places. But the Dems here? Unless something happens to wake them up, I think they are not going to get any millennials, for though there IS a strong progressive millennial presence in SWVA, as evidenced by organizations like Bristol Indivisible, VA Organizing, the younger members of APEC, YAP, and others, the Washington County Dems are doing a VERY effective job of alienating them, hearts and minds. Keep up the good work! (I say that sardonically, of course.)
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Stop Saying “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”
I recently had this exchange with a gun-rights person on FB. I’m very tired of hearing the “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people!” retort. That isn’t correct. People WITH GUNS kill people. And often, it followed by a false equivalency: people kill people with knives, too! You want to ban butter knives? Grrr….
While I hold far more radical views on guns in society than most (see my earlier blog), I want to point out that there is reasonable legislation that has been rescinded by Trump (#NotMyPresident) (H.J. Res 40) which would have made background checks for those with mental illnesses more neccessary. In keeping with the gun-friendly era of Trump, Congress was in the process of passing a bill (the Sportmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act) that would allow, among other things, the loosening of restrictions on transporting firearms across state lines, the classification of types of ammunition desgnated as “armor-piercing”, and the treatment of silencers as the equal to firearms, requiring only a fedral back-ground check. (The bill has not yet come to the floor in light of the Las Vegas shooting but still might later.)
The point I am trying to make is that gun-control laws do NOT attempt to ban all weapons, nor are law makers coming for your guns. (Let me point out to you that Obama was in office for TWO entire terms and never did he nor any federal agents come after your guns! This being said for the benefit of those of you who just knew that such would happen!) But there are some things that need to happen. Assault weapons do NOT need to be available to individuals. (If you read this and disagree, I invite you to leave a comment explaining to me WHY someone needs an assault rifle.) Everyone needs a background check, regardless of where and from whom they buy their weapon. And surely there needs to a limit on the number of weapons one person can own.
