How do I construct a world?
The very sky is ever-shifting with shadow and light.
The earth beneath moves and trembles.
The lines of existence are in flux.
Dreams fly apart and come together in unrecognizable forms.
Past and present spiral and flow in mutable streams.
Any certainty slips through my hands like liquid sand.
But glorious songs weave through the cracks in hope.
So I celebrate nonetheless.
Practice can be difficult.
Often my body is filled with pain
Or clouded by fever.
I realize again
That compassion and patience
Must be extended to myself.
I consider impermanence and the connection of all,
Grateful for the many kindnesses of others.
These current conditions will change.
One breath at a time.
I consider the gateway of my death.
It is always before me, sometimes hidden by distractions.
There are periods I see it more clearly.
As of late the details of its appearance become more defined,
And the door opens widely and freely.
When will I pass through?
I, as with other beings, do not know this for certain.
Each moment brings me closer.
Let me prepare now.
I can almost feel the latch swing under my hand
And hear the rustle of the gravel as my foot starts over the stile.
I sit with my mala wrapped around my wrist.
In another room, I drink my tea. There I drop my tea cup.
As I count the beads, this accident causes my heart to shatter.
The tea cup remains whole, and I inhale the fragrance and sip.
The mala falls through the air. I catch it and resume my cadence.
Each breath repairs my heart. I taste the flavor of the tea and smile.
Lest you say,
“I am an island unto myself,”
Remember that an island is so
Only because of other factors:
The waters that surround it and the land from which it is formed.
Should you think,
“I depend only on myself,”
Remember that your very birth was a result of others’ interactions.
We are inextricably connected to all that is;
No-one nor nothing happens in isolation.
Consider this and realize therefore
Care for oneself includes care for all.
How to develop a lighter mind,
Able to easily drift on the winds of change?
All my attitudes hinder this,
Causing me to adhere to every sticking point.
Rather than a clear openness,
I find the constant film of selfishness.
Sometimes this momentarily fades,
Through diligent application of appropriate means.
My attention waxes and wanes,
With the result that the tarnish returns.
Once again I sink under the grimy wash.
If I could but realize that this be illusion,
I could float freely as the leaf and cloud.
Let me go for a walk. How do I begin?
By starting from where I am.
I put one foot in front of the other.
Over and over and over.
I alone can do this.
I cannot ask: Would you move for me?
(I could, but this is nonsensical.)
If I want to trek to whatever destination,
I must commence.
Now is the only time;
These steps are the perfect means.
I embark upon the journey.
What is the beginning of wisdom?
Simply this. To say
I do not know.
Nothing more. This hard thing.
A sentence to utter often.
Practice articulating these words.
In solitude at first if need be, for familiarization.
One brief declaration, then stop.
Listen to what follows.
Open mind. Open heart.
