Do I sit here in quietness and contemplation?
I can do that, yes.
But right now I want to MOVE!
I hear the music and the beat,
And my body says dance, dance, dance
While you’ve got this chance, chance, chance.
And I feel the joy and the laughter
All around me in the songs
Healing all the wrongs
(Not just mine but the world’s)
I want to explode with wonder.
Since the pandemic hit, I’ve lost most of the close friendships I had. I gotta wonder, what does this say about them? What does this say about me? Why couldn’t we sustain them? Many of them were with people in my same town. The phone works just fine here, as does broadband. And yet they failed.
I tried with my usual means: calls, email, making playlists, sending recipes, asking about family members, etc. But all of these couldn’t weave a strong enough web for the strictures of this time, evidently. I think this has to with a multitude of factors, which I’ll list below.
The BIG one: I’m not FAMILY. During this time, everyone has retreated into their cocoons and, rightly or wrongly, been focused on taking care of those who related to them. THESE PEOPLE are their primary concern. I get this. IF you have kids or aging parents or both, this is definitely going to be where your attention goes. So you will not have much time or space for extras. Now, don’t get me wrong. In an actual EMERGENCY, folks do come through. When I was really sick, people kindly brought me food and groceries n such. But this is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking CONVERSATIONS (remember those?) and regular contact (via internet or phone).
Another one: I don’t drive + I live in a small apartment. This means that I could not host any outdoor gatherings OR attend any, really. SOCIOECONOMIC class rears its ugly (and seldom discussed) head here. But. This was a thing. Friends would tell me about it. Early on. Or ask me if I’d attended such and such play at Barter-At-The Moonlight. While I wondered silently if they’d taken leave of their senses. And maybe it just finally became too glaring and much. So.
A third one. I’ve withdrawn from most of the activist organizations from which I once belonged. Perhaps I’m not as interesting to talk with. Now that I don’t do THAT any longer, I’m just another older person of slight regard. I can’t advance any interests for anyone or promote any cause. I’m just me now.
A fourth. Perhaps, and I’m going to check with my therapist and few remaining friends on this, I’ve become personally more challenging to interact with. I don’t wish to be rude, unpleasant, impolite, or not compassionate. But I am asking people to do things I think are reasonable, setting boundaries, and sometimes it doesn’t go as planned. (Case in point: A friend, who might now never speak to me again Idk, had developed a habit of telling me they would call me back but then seldom doing so. Now, this friend has a complicated life for all sorts of reasons, so I didn’t mind the not calling me back part. But I really wanted them to refrain from saying that to me, as I would expect them to call-EVEN AS I TOLD MYSELF NO THEY WON’T. it’s just not good practice, yeah? So I asked them to NOT say this. It didn’t go well. My fault, I’m sure. But I still don’t know how else I could have done it really. Sigh. ) And continue to work on my path.
A fifth. Things, even friendships, just change. That’s the nature of ALL things. So I accept this, find pleasure in those friendships that DID survive, cherish the memories of happiness I shared with former friends, wish them well, and look forward to what new friends, experiences, and most definitely challenges, will come.
A friend’s cousin died.
Train whistles a mournful sound.
Snow falls in darkness.
Shards of a tea cup.
My hand trembled in the night.
Outside the ice melts.
Mr. Griffith:
I’m writing today to inform you that I believe you have failed in your basic job as the Representative of the 9th District, that job being to uphold and protect the Constitution of the United States of America. Instead, you have joined with a President who sees fit to act only in HIS interests and cares NOTHING for that document, the ideals contained therein, or the country he was elected to serve. From before day one he has trampled the laws of this land underfoot, and for the sake of chasing after a mob vote, the Republican party has largely abandoned its principles and values and gone with him. And YOU joined in as one of his sycophants and now, even at the last minute, when the whirlwind that was sown in Charlottesville has finally been reaped in full view of the world, complete with Confederate flags, semi-clothed men with guns, and the Capitol building occupied BY AMERICANS IN FAVOR OF A SITTING PRESIDENT, you still had the temerity to object to Biden’s being confirmed as President-Elect. I would say, “Shame on you,” but it is obvious you do not recognize what that is. There will be a reckoning for this, do not kid yourself. We’ve watched this take place. And come the next Congressional election, should you still be in office, we will vote you out.
Steam rises from the tea.
Consider these things.
Every being that had contact with this tea,
Be it an insect, animal or person,
Was just like me:
Each wished to experience happiness
And to avoid the pain of suffering.
So as I drink this tea,
A great happiness in itself,
Let me pause and wish for all of those:
May you be happy.
May you be peaceful.
May you be free from fear, judgment or ill will.
May you grow in compassion, wisdom, and love.
Just in case you ever wondered, I make no money in ANY way from this site. It’s not incentivized at all-no Amazon affiliates or any other such nonsense. I weirdly have NO financial side-hustle going at all in my life, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, if I mention some brand of tea or food in passing that I happen to use, it’s because I LIKE IT, not because I’m trying to sell you something. We clear?
Also along these lines, I’m an ordinary person. What I mean by this: I’m NOT a professional writer to try to get you to buy my latest book of poetry or cookbook. If I write about food and go on occasional rants, I’m doing so as a USER, someone who knows their way around a kitchen for sure and has a local rep maybe, but I don’t do this for money and haven’t been classically trained. I cook out of necessity and love. My kitchen looks like someone actually uses it. I also don’t look like I just stepped off the cover of (insert the latest fashion mag) in said kitchen.
This is written in reaction to yet another bad food blog experience AND to wordpress’s persistence in suggesting that I too can use my site to make big bucks, if only I’d get with the program. (By which I’m assuming that means somehow WORDPRESS gets part of this, else why would it care?) But here’s the thing-I’m supremely uninterested in doing so. Shocker, I know. But though I have times when I struggle a bit, I’m okay with how my life is arranged. I can afford food, tea, and cover what I need to for myself and whippet. I do not want to bow down to Amazon or Google or the like. They can call it partnering all they want. I don’t want them on MY site. I know, I know. Twig against the tide. But that’s me.
This one has to do with Simple Truth products, marketed by Krogers. I suppose the Simple Truth PRODUCE is edible (and maybe some of the canned beans, Idk), since I would (usually) recommend organic. However, I say ALWAYS buy LOCALLY grown fruits and vegetables from your farmer’s market, if these are available. I’m going to take a leap of faith here and assume that YOUR farmers will have the same high standards that OUR local farmers do and grow organic, most of ’em. Anyway, back to the subject at hand.
Simple Truth. Is it? Really? I want food, not religion. And I want GOOD food. For everyone. So I’m here to warn you. DO NOT BUY SIMPLE TRUTH CONDIMENTS. Especially products like: soy sauce/tamari sauce; tahini; and the like. They suck out loud. The tamari is so truly awful that I’ve thrown the bottle out, rather than use it. I have no idea why they would even LABEL it tamari, as it bears no resemblance to tamari, other than being roughly the same color. It has little taste and will bring nothing to your dish. Ahem. After that little tirade, perhaps I shouldn’t get started on my opinion of their version of tahini. You can no doubt guess that it’s NOT GOOD. Lol. IF you wish to buy condiments and stuff, for the love of whatever deity or thing you hold dear, take my best advice and buy brands that are known to specialize in these products. If you like experimenting, try different brands. But stay away from this generic “we’ve got to be good because we say we’re organic” and we’ll try making EVERYTHING brand.
Look. In this day and age, most grocery stores, including Krogers, offer you a fairly wide variety to choose from when selecting your flours, condiments, baking products, snacks, and produce. What I’m saying is that you can usually do better than Simple Truth. And that’s the truth.
Steam rises from the tea.
Consider these things.
The tea did not brew itself.
The tea did not magically appear in the cup.
The tea will not float on the air to be sipped.
I have to act for these to happen.
Let me do so in a mindful manner.
That I might enter fully this moment in time.
My dog gave proof that she is more
Than the pretty construct in my mind
And a wonderful companion.
She is teeth and claws and a fierce heart.
She will strike with deadly force
And kill to defend to our home.
She remembers that she is related to wolves,
Even though I did not.
She is a working dog,
And her talents are myriad and great.
I am so grateful to have her in my life.
