Hallway to Nowhere

  • Another Mass-Shooting in A School

    Yesterday on a one of my social media sites I posted the Indigo Girls song Don’t Give That Girl A Gun (video posted at end of this blog) from their awesome album Shaming Of The Sun, along with the comment that it seemed apropos for so many of the recent school schootings (one of which had involved a female). I had no idea that the very next day I would view with horrow reports of yet another mass shooting at a school, my words echoing in my ears and the song playing its sound track through my mind.

    I keep asking myself: When did “mass-shooting” become a tool in the set of “appropriate responses” in the American psyche? How did this happen? The first shooting I remember remember outside of war or accidental death or natural causes was the Kent State shooting. THAT was devastating. Granted, it was not armed-citizen instigated violence, but it WAS the first non-military-against-enemy violence, (yes, it WAS military, national guard, but it was military-against-civilian), that I can remember as a young person. And for the times, four dead, four civilian dead, certainly counted as a mass shooting (then). How little did we suspect what was to come down the road.

    I just googled “mass-shootings in the U.S.” Depending on which source you use, your answer will vary from 146 to 147. Of course, that answer is now sadly out-of-date, b/c it was written JUST LAST YEAR. There have been thirty-count that-THIRTY (30) mass-shootings in the U.S in 2018, including the one that just occurred in Florida. This data comes from Gun Violence Archive, in case your’re wondering. (www.gunviolencearchive.org/mass-shooting)  Wrap your had around that for a minute and think about our (lack) of gun control. Maybe also contemplate it the next time you see a nice friendly ad for the NRA.

    I can’t imagine what it must be like to be a parent these days. To send your child off to school when this type of thing is a possibility. Or to be a student when there is the chance that one of your classmates will use the opportunity to kill you.  That was not even on the radar when I was in school. The most we had to fear was physical or verbal bullying. These kids face maybe DEATH by the mere act of attending class. I am in awe of their bravery.

  • “Thoughts And Prayers” Won’t Get The Laundry Done-How To Truly Help Someone Who Is Ill

    “Thoughts And Prayers” Won’t Get The Laundry Done-How To Truly Help Someone Who Is Ill

    As those of you who are friends with me IRL or on social media know, I have been very ill recently. First I caught a nasty strain of the flu (diagnosed at the Urgent Care Center) which later developed into atypical pneumonia, acute bronchitis, PLUS the original flu virus. The ER doc also mumbled something about some possible other unspecified viruses, like these weren’t enough, and sent me home with more meds than I could shake a stick at, strict instructions to REST, REST, REST, drink plenty of fluids, and to follow up with my internist. I’m not venturing out anywhere, since I’d have to don a plague mask, carry a bell, and spread the deadly virus wherever I went, thereby being a real buzzkill at any gathering.

    I posted about being so ill on my social media. AAAAANNNDD got the expected “thought and prayers” responses from most BUT from a few people got responses that made a BIG difference in the last week. THEY said things like: DO YOU NEED ME TO DO LAUNDRY? DO YOU NEED ME TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE? DO YOU NEED ME TO PICK UP MEDS? DO YOU NEED A RIDE TO THE DOCTOR? DO YOU NEED ME TO COOK YOU SOUP? Are you seeing a pattern here?

    Now, don’t get me wrong. “Thoughts and prayers” are appreciated. Some of those posting might have actually prayed….a couple were professionals at that, lol, and who knows? I might even be on a church prayer list somewhere! But the point I’m trying to make here is that if you know someone who is truly ill, and you truly wish to do something for them, offer  more than “thoughts and prayers”. Even if it is something so simple as a post containing the latest research that shows that Sambucol is effective as Tamiflu against the flu. That has some content. Or perhaps a humorous post about the flu. These will suffice, should you not be in a position to make a concrete offer of aid, like doing laundry (if the person has no washer and dryer, for instance) or going to the grocery, or making a meal, or whatever. But just saying “thoughts and prayers,” while it SOUNDS nice on FB, is essentially vacuous and meaningless. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh and ungrateful. But in this day and age, after the beating that words have taken from DJT and company, I want to let people know that words matter and actions speak loudly. Covfefe, indeed.

  • Trump and Tears: My Own Personal “Trump Effect”

    When Trump (#NotMyPresident) was elected, I cried. They were NOT tears of joy, believe you me. Little did I know that those tears were merely a bitter, bitter presage of the many tears to follow. From having a President who never reduced me to crying or incoherency, save for a tear here and there of pride in him as he represented us so well on the world stage or lit the WH in rainbow colors when Marriage Equality finally became law of the land, I now have a POTUS who with depressing regularity brings me to fits of actual crying. (And I STILL can’t listen to Le Tigre’s “I’m With Her” w/o breaking down.) His tweets can make me gnash my teeth, to the point that my dentist is concerned. And don’t even get me started on what my psychiatrist thinks, lol. I pointed out that NO-ONE makes meds strong enough to deal with a Trump presidency. He laughed and suggested perhaps I should start a support group. He was joking. But I’m seriously considering it. People (like me) who are now marginalized by Spanky and his gang can use all the help they can get.

    When I heard Trump’s latest, the “shithole countries” remark, I cried yet again. Let me say that before Trump, that last time I had cried was when my last beloved guinea pig died…over TEN years ago. I don’t cry easily. I deal with things and go on. But this man….Here’s why I cried at the “shithole countries” remark:

    First, from just the continuing SHOCK that a sitting PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA would make such a remark. Two, the contrast was immediate to his predecessor. Obama had great empathy and compassion. I highly doubt Trump  ever even tweeted the word “empathy,” let alone experienced it. And I won’t even go into the matters of style and class. Utterly no comparision possible there. Three, I felt such despair at the complete callousness that this displayed towards those from these countries.

    I really endeavor not to hate anyone. I think it a waste of time and energy. But Trump is making me rethink this policy. I’m begining to hate him personally, viscerally, and with vituperation. I dislike what he’s doing to the country but I dislike what he’s doing to me as a person. I’m now: angry; anxious; fearful; tearful; and depressed. MAGA, indeed! Snort!

  • Report on Doug Jones’ Win In Alabama

    A Democrat won in Alabama. Freakin’ ALABAMA! But before we go getting all warm and fuzzy toward the denizens of that benighted state, let me point out WHO exactly  elected Doug Jones: the African American residents, most specifically THE WOMEN! They turned out to vote for him in greater numbers than even for Barack Obama. Now, younger white voters did vote for Jones,esp. in the urban counties, but most of the older white males in Alabama voted for Moore and the majority of white women, even those who were college grads, STILL voted for Moore!

    It’s time for another Transit Report. My ever-faithful Trump-supporting transit driver had this to say: he won’t last (referring to Jones). He went on to explain himself, asking those of us captive, You DO know who voted for him, right? It was the blacks and the  women! When they settle down, everything will go back to normal.

    Alrighty, then. Let’s examine this. Implicit in this is the unstated belief that the white residents of Alabama, most particularly the MEN, are the true citizens and the ones that really matter. And that what is the natural state of affairs is for African Americans and women to KNOW THEIR PLACE and let the white folks-the white MEN- decide things.

    He is a white older evangelical, btw. So not unlike those who turned in support of Roy Moore in Alabama. Like them, he is willing to embrace anyone who claims to speak for (white) Christian values wrapped in a red, white, and blue flag. No matter their character, actions, or words. If they use the right symbols and code words, basically give the correct “not-so-secret handshake and password,” then they are IN. And this seems to be a club that you join for for life. I don’t think you get thrown out. Maybe if you do something like, Idk, become an EXTREME apostate and reject Jesus in a public manner, convert to another religion or something. But there’s ALWAYS the possibility of forgiveness, b/c these people like nothing better than a repentant sinner. After all, Roy Moore came back to the Alabama Supreme Court after being removed once. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Moore. He turns up like a bad penny.

    But good for the people of Alabama. And regardless of what my transit driver believes, the African Americans ARE residents of Alabama; the younger voters ARE residents of Alabama; and angry women EVERYWHERE who are voting, running for office, and WINNING are legitimate citizens of the United States. No-one is going anywhere.

  • Bullying-My Story

    I read heart-breaking stories about young children who have killed themselves because of bullying. The First Lady has (supposedly) taken up cyber-bullying and other forms of bullying as her personal cause. Friends have reported that their children are being subjected to various degrees of bullying for being different, i.e. they are not white/straight/gender-conforming. This has led me to reflect on the instances of bullying in my past, when I was in secondary school. (Yes, I was bullied. Big surprise.)

    The first instance that really comes to mind was during the first day of elementary school. Let me first say that elementary school itself was a HUGE shock to me. This was the first time I had been around other CHILDREN and indeed it was the first time I was treated as a child. Hithertofore I had spent my time around adults and pretty much been treated like a very small intelligent being. Here I was handed CHILDREN’S books, which I regarded as an insult, and I found children to be totally alien.

    Getting back to recess and the topic at hand. We went out for recess and the teacher instructed us to skip. I looked at her blankly and inquired,”Skip what?” She had to show me how to skip, which I found most humiliating, and the other children laughed at me. That set the tone for the rest of the my life in elementary school, vis a vis the other children. My glasses were regularly knocked off my head or stolen; my books were shoved out of my arms; recess was just a nightmare. The teachers didn’t make this any better by their obvious preference for me, once they had discovered my academic prowess. Praising a child in class to the detriment of their peers does not endear them to their classmates.

    Gym class was its own special brand of torture. IT was taught by a misogynistic coach who allowed us divide up into teams that pitted the boys against the girls. The girls got battered, and some girls got battered more than others. Finally I had had enough. I brought a book to class one day, sat myself under a tree in the yard, and announced that I wasn’t playing with the others. The coach yelled at  me to get back in the game (kick ball, an esp. hated game for me.) I refused. He sent me to the principal’s office. I went and explained to the principal that I was tired of getting: shoved, hit, knocked to ground, trampled on, etc. So I was opting out. He said that I couldn’t do that. I replied that I was. He said that I would get an F. I said, “Fine.” He then said, “I think I’m going to have to call your parents….” I said, “Fine.” So my parents came, heard what was ensuing, and backed me up! They told the principal that if I chose not to participate in activity that was causing me to get knocked about, that was totally acceptable and reasonable behavior and that they supported me. The principal reiterated his threat of an F for the semester. My parents told him, “Fine.” So I sat out of gym the rest of that semester with my book. And incidently I never had to take another gym class the rest of my elementary school career. I was excused for “health” reasons by order of the principal. (More likely by reason of my parents theatened to make an issue of the coach.)

    The other bullying that took place didn’t have such a good resolution. It was during Junior High. I was a Band Geek and played trombone. I rode the bus and was always burdened down with a trombone and a heavy knapsack of books. Being a small nerdy girl with glasses with a reputation for being smart can make you a target. There were some really BIG (or so they seemed to me at the time) girls who rode the same bus as I did who decided that I was the perfect prey. Day after day they assaulted me: they pushed me to the ground, knocked over my trombone case, threw my books around, called me names….I couldn’t fight back physically; I was outnumbered, plus I didn’t know how to fight AND we were on school property and I didn’t want to get caught fighting. So I fought back using the only method at my means: my vocabulary. I called those girls names I’m sure they would have surely beaten me up for, had they known what I was saying. But they simply had no idea that they were being maligned. I even cursed them out in Latin…and Latin has some truly amazing curses. (Perite and vacca stulta were two favorites.)

    Looking back on this I find myself wondering where the bus driver or a teacher or SOMEBODY, some adult, was. But back then bullying wasn’t really on anyone’s radar. I certainly didn’t tell anyone about it. It just didn’t occur to me. You didn’t talk to adults about stuff like this. I pretty sure that if I had thought about it, I would have concluded that talking to a teacher would have only made matters WORSE, not better. This was not like elementary school, where your parents could intervene and make a difference. This was Junior High, and your peers ruled. For a teacher or other adult to be seen trying step in your behalf would be infinitely a terrible mistake. Whatever was going on would increase full force. Shudder.

    And this is part of the reason why I left for college at age 16.

  • My Response To My Christian Troll

    You sent me repeated mesages that were not nice at all. You attacked my beliefs, or rather my lack of belief, and then you went to criticize my attractiveness. And you did this all in the guise of Christianity, in a attempt on a DATING SITE, to convert me. The only thing I did to provoke this onslaught was to mention in my introduction that I was an atheist. That apparently was enough to justify inappropriate behavior that borders on being seemingly unstable.

    I usually would have responded snarkily. But I had been pondering the deep divisions I see around me and I made the decision that wherever possible I would not contribute to this on an individual basis. I do not know what a person is struggling with that makes them act or say the way they do and so I resolved to endeavor to try harder to treat others with kindness and compassion. And that means you. That means the person who gets in my face at the laundromat to berate me about Trump for no apparent reason. That means every single person I encounter, whether I like them or dislike them. I have generally approached people with the idea everyone I meet is a decent human being struggling to do the best they can with what they have at that moment…until they prove differently. Now I’m making an effort to eliminate that last clause. Some people WILL do their best to prove me wrong, true. But I am going to treat them kindly and with respect. Because that is what human beings do. Will I fail sometimes? Sure. I’m not perfect. But I will make the effort.

  • Another Attack By A (Christian) Troll

    Another Attack By A (Christian) Troll

    I have a profile at a dating site. I put it up in hopes that I would meet some interesting new FRIENDS, being as I live in a small town and meeting people here is difficult. In my introduction I was candid about being: ace, agender, aromantic, and atheist. Last night the last adjective proved to be too upsetting for another user, resulting in the following encounter:

    SHE initiates contact with me to say something innocuous, “heya, how are you?” I always take the time to read the profile of anyone who contacts me, and hers emphatically stated that she wished to talk to others about traveling. So I responded with a question, “I’m fine, thank you. I see your profile says that you wish to talk about traveling? So where do you wish to travel, or where have you traveled?” She responds with a long diatribe about Jesus and how she believes in God. Okkkkay, then. My usual response would be to say something snarky, but I had told myself that this week I would endeavor to be kinder and gentler to all I met. This includes Christian people who are hell-bent on saving my soul. So I replied with a polite answer and wished her a Happy Thanksgiving. She contacts me AGAIN this morning to find out why I wasn’t responding to her god-talk and then sends another message that she doesn’t find “men-looking” women attractive.  I’m beginning to lose my patience at this point. But I remember my resolution. Though I know that I am wasting my time, I do  respond, albeit still politely. I say that she has voiced her dislike of my beliefs and my appearance through more than one message now and I am frankly puzzled as to why she keeps contacting me. I am happy for her that she is saved by Jesus hopes that she has a blessed Thanksgiving. Then I blocked her.  I don’t think she realized this, for I continued to get messages from her. They went unread.

    WHY do some Christians feel entitled to engage in this behavior? And this is definitely a CHRISTIAN thing. You don’t see practitioners of ANY other religion doing this sort of thing. It irks me to no end. Not only is it highly annoying; it is presumptuous, contemptuous, and entitled. It CLEARLY says, “I know better than you do what is best for you and I am prepared to trample all over your beliefs and your rights in the name of my god.” This is what gives Christianity a bad name and a black mark in the eyes of so many non-Christians. These type of Christians don’t just do this to atheists; they’ll do this to ANYONE who doesn’t subscribe to their brand of Christianity-even other Christians. But atheists really seem to rile them, I’ll admit. We’re like a direct challenge to them, some sort of theological red flag. My life would probably be a lot easier if I would play nice, as a pastor friend of mine suggested, and start saying that I’m an agnostic. It sounds better, he says, less militant and harsh. Not so confrontative.

    I’m sorry. Let’s talk about confrontation, shall we? A CHRISTIAN shouted at me that I’m damned while I was walking to the farmers market upon merely hearing, “No, I’m an atheist, sir.” A CHRISTIAN told me to “FUCK OFF, you’re obviously not on your way to church!” while on his way to CHURCH, after I helpfully and politely informed him that he had parked his car illegally and that it would be towed. A CHRISTIAN told me that I should be DEPORTED b/c I didn’t believe in a CHRISTIAN god. And, as described above, a CHRISTIAN sought me out on a DATING SITE to revile both my beliefs and my looks. So who is seeking confrontation here? Do I knock on doors and ask, “Pardon me, have you studied the good news about critical reasoning and rationality?” Do I stand at the entrance of the farmers market and read from Darwin? Do I hand out pocket-sized editions of Richard Dawkins “The God Delusion” to be distributed by legions of middle-aged atheists and placed in motel rooms nationwide? Maybe someone needs to start doing this. IF I keep encountering Christian trolls, maybe it might be me.

  • Roy Moore Has A Great Big (Christian) Credibility Problem

    Roy Moore Has A Great Big (Christian) Credibility Problem

    Roy Moore has based his career as a politician on his self-righteous Christianity. He installed a marble statue of the 10 Commandments in his courtroom as Alabama’s Chief Justice and was removed from office when he refused to remove it. He was elected again to head the court and again removed after he directed probate judges to continue to enforce the state’s ban on same-sex marriages. He resigned and is now running for the seat vacated by Jeff Sessions. He is known for his anti-LGBTQ views, anti-Muslim and immigrant sentiments, and past ties to neo-Confederate and white nationalist groups, in addition to his loudly and oft-expressed notions about Christianity.

    He really ought to have heeded the saying about glass houses and stones. His house is shattering all about him. What remains to be seen is whether this will make any difference to his constituency: the largely evangelical Republicans in Alabama. An Alabama state official has already defended Moore from the allegations that have been made in the Washington Post stating that he engaged in what is legally sexual abuse of a minor. Around 86% of Alabama residents identify as Christians, and almost half of those say they are evangelical. According to the Pew Research Center, 70% of white evangelicals now say that a person who commits “an immoral act” can behave ethically in the public sphere (unless, of course, you are Hillary Clinton). I suppose this is part and parcel of the whole “forget everything except your personal relationship with Jesus” thing? I USED to hear  that my Christian friends  expected their politicians to live up to a certain moral standard IN ALL RESPECTS….that their personal lives should reflect their public lives.

    Now? Not so much. I hear increasingly that the ends justify the means, and if that means embracing a foul-mouthed hypocrite like DJT, then so be it. After all, god can use anyone he wants, right? But to those of us who are looking on, this smacks less of faith than of desperation at best and of venality at worst. They are throwing away their standards in pursuit of goals that will most likely never materialize. To use a reference from their own bible, DJT definitely has feet of clay! And as we are now finding out, so does Roy Moore, god’s own self-chosen one in Alabama!

  • An Extraordinary Opportunity For The Democrats

    An Extraordinary Opportunity For The Democrats

    The election of Mr. Trump (#notmypresident) offered up an extraordinary opportunity for the Democrats. He presents us with such a stark contrast of choice to offer voters. I had hopes of seeing the party I care about revitalized, reunited, and really working on a grassroots-level to once again begin reaching the people it claimed to stand for.  Now I am not sure that it will do so.  I am not a politician.  But here is what I think needs to happen for the Democratic Party to be an effective presence in people’s lives again:

    People do NOT think the Democrats (or Republicans either, really) CARE about what is happening to them. And the way to combat this is not by making calls or asking people to sign online petitions. We need to be SHOWING UP ON PEOPLE’S DOORSTEPS and TALKING TO THEM! We need to asking them, “What are the issues that truly concern you? What worries you? What do you (and not Fox News) think the government) needs to be doing? ” And we need to do this continually! Not just during an election cycle!

    If, say, the local Dems were an organization that REGULARLY (and I mean at least once per month) went door to door to residents of Washington County to inquire about their well-being and find out what we could do to help, I imagine our membership would soar. This would accomplish so much more than the phone-banks. It would help repair the damage that political parties of all stripes have inflicted on people. It would let people know that that the Democratic Party is HERE and wants to work for THEM. And even if they presented problems that sometimes had no immediate solution, we could at least listen. And that means a lot to folks in these disconnected times.

    Will anyone pay any attention to this post? Probably not. But I’ve seen this done in other places. It IS effective and it DOES work. The Democratic Party can be a vehicle for effective postive change. I wish that would happen here.

     

  • I Mourn For My Christian Friends

    I Mourn For My Christian Friends

    I noticed recently that a large marble plaque of the ten commandments (Xtian version, of course) has been posted on the main  street in my little town.  I’m sure that it is on private property but is so situated as to make it appear that it is town-sponsored. Had it just been the decalogue, I would have shrugged my shoulders and gone about my business. BUT underneath this was another marble plaque that proclaims: OUR AMERICAN HERITAGE. Ahem. I don’t THINK so. Your CHRISTIAN heritage, yes. Your JEWISH heritage, maybe, (with a different version).  But NOT American heritage. I believe that the many indigenous inhabitants of this land would beg to differ, as would those who helped build this nation and did not subscribe to Christian beliefs.

    I was on transit when I first saw this. A friend of mine happened to be with me, a retired coal miner. He remarked that HE was Christian, had been all his life, but that he found this offensive. He said, “How do you think people who come to Abingdon who are NOT Christian or not THAT type of Christian are going to feel when they see that? Not welcome or wanted, that’s how! And MY Christian faith wouldn’t think that’s a Christian thing to do!”  As a non-Christian, had I seen that coming into a town, I would have felt immediately on guard. It seems a statement of identity: this is what this place is and who fits in here. It is not welcoming, not hospitable, and not even factual. It is divisive, confrontative, and exclusive. Those who put it up might have had good intentions. But in today’s charged environment, I have to speculate that they realized what they were doing and did it intentionally. I want to believe that people listen to their better angels, as Abraham Lincoln puts it so eloquently. But I find that so often, when a test comes, when the moment of truth arrives and given the chance to do something that will make that difference, they falter and give heed instead to darker voices born from ignorance and fear instead.

    So many Christians, I know you are not this. But this IS HAPPENING HERE. I can critique this, but I can only do it from the outside. For this to stop, CHRISTIANS are going to have toaddress this. As long as this is considered acceptable behavior, it will continue. History will be re-written. Christianity will continue to morph into forms more authoritarian, shallower, and crueler than anything Jesus might have imagined. And those of us looking on from the outside can only watch and mourn and wonder how far this will go.