Hallway to Nowhere

Tag: Abingdon

  • Smiling Faces

    Smiling Faces

    I’ve thought long and hard about this this blog post. Finally I decided that I needed to write it. Last Saturday something happened at the local farmers market that I find disturbing, both on a personal level and as a commentary on how men feel free to interact with someone they perceive as female. I have been struggling with whether or not to write about this, for to do so makes it public. But I think this deserves to be talked about. The more women and others allow men to do this, the more they will do this, either because they think it is acceptable or because they believe they will not be called on it. So:

    I was having a conversation with several vendors I know. One (a man) jokingly said of the other that she was looking for a man. News to me, but whatever. I was taken aback at how he said it, though. It was sudden and inappropriate. That began the sorry slide of  continuing remarks of a supposedly jocular tone that were related to dating and or sex. Now this person is older than I am and knows I’m queer. I do NOT know what possessed him to do this. We’ve always been very cordial. I was helping him sell some of items that day in an informal manner, as I have hithertofore liked him and what he manufactored. I tried to laugh what he said off.

    But I can’t. He wasn’t overtly lewd, just enough suggestive to make me uncomfortable, but that it happened at all has now changed the way I see him AND the farmers market. He is no longer a person around whom I feel comfortable. He is moved from my “safe” list to my “unsafe” list. And, sadly, his actions and words have made the FARMERS MARKET, a place which had been one of my most favorite places in Abingdon, now a place where I know that I still have to be on guard. It was naive of me not to have been otherwise.

    Part of me wants to go on a rant. To say: What sort of world is this where a woman (I know, I don’t ID as female,  but still get defaulted that way) can’t fucking GO TO THE FARMERS MARKET without being subjected to some utterly obtuse male thinking it is fine to make sexually suggestive comments? And also: Hello, Harvey Weinstein???  You’d think especially NOW he’d have better sense than to do this type of thing? And so on. But I’m not going to do so. I’m too saddened and disapponted by what transpired. But I could not let it go with saying something. Now I have.

  • Put Down Your Cell Phone-A Creeper Trail Rant

    Put Down Your Cell Phone-A Creeper Trail Rant

    RANT WARNING!

    Every morning my dog and I take a long walk on the Creeper Trail. The Creeper is one of the many things I love about Abingdon. It’s a great place to walk and enjoy the beauty of our gorgeous area. We generally go early before 8AM to avoid others and before the heat of the day becomes oppressive. At that time of the morning traffic is usually light on the trail and to and from the trail. (I live less than a block from the trail entrance so we walk.)

    This morning I counted FOUR people on their cell phones! I wanted to say, “You’re on the Creeper! Put your phone away!” For one thing, it is DANGEROUS. We get bikers on the trail frequently. I’m sorry to say that most I’ve encountered do NOT signal when passing, though trail rules (clearly posted at the head of the trail) state that they must do so. I’ve almost been hit several times though no fault of my own. My dog and I walk well to the right; she is on a VERY close lead (not a free-ranging retractable lead like some dogs I’ve encountered); I try to be alert to my surroundings. But bikers are quiet and sometimes going extremely fast. If you don’t hear them, then you get no warning. So a walker paying attention to his phone in the middle of trail (and it is narrow in places) could be toast.

    For another thing, and this is purely a personal opinion, YOU ARE ON THE CREEPER, for fuck’s sake. If you want just a place to get your exercise, there is a macadamized track at the Coome’s Center. Put the phone away for the duration of your walk. Take time to disengage. Look at the trees, fields, and squirrels. Smell the different aromas of the trail (this morning was distinctly musky). Greet your fellow trail denizens. BREATHE……and remember that there is a life beyond the electronic world. (And I say that despite my love of the internet.)

  • The Kindness Of Strangers

    The Kindness Of Strangers

    I’m struggling with a herniated disc right now. I was at our local representative Evil Empire (AKA Walmart) to pick up some Dream Bones and Community Coffee, those being the only two items that I can’t get anywhere else in town. I come out of the store to see the bus leaving the lot. I must have looked visibly distressed, b/c this man passing by stopped and asked what was wrong. Now, after traipsing from one end of Wally-world to the other, I was already in pain and the prospect of waiting for another to catch the bus was daunting. But I didn’t tell him anything other than I had missed the bus, darn it. He sympathized and walked to his truck. Then he came in a few minutes and inquired where I lived. When I told him, he offered me a ride home.

    Now, I’m not normally in the habit of acepting rides from strangers, especially at Walmart. I covertly checked his groceries-no beer was evident, just food-and checked my internal warning system, admittedly not the best thing, but gut instinct will at least say, “hey, don’t go there”. Everything seemed normal. I said, “Thanks, that is very kind of you.” and followed him to his truck. He put my groceries in his truck and we proceeded to drive off.

    On the way he told me about his daughter who was around my age who had just finished going back to school to get her degree in education. I told him about my newly discovered back woes and some stories from the library. We both agreed that Abingdon is a fine place to live. He said  that if I’ve been in Appalachia since my 30s, I should just go ahead and now start saying that I’m from here. When we finally got to my place, he said it had been nice to meet me, I thanked him for the ride, and we parted most amicably. No creepy Deliverance music ever made an appearance.

  • The Kindness Of Strangers

    The Kindness Of Strangers

    I’m struggling with a herniated disc right now. I was at our local representative Evil Empire (AKA Walmart) to pick up some Dream Bones and Community Coffee, those being the only two items that I can’t get anywhere else in town. I come out of the store to see the bus leaving the lot. I must have looked visibly distressed, b/c this man passing by stopped and asked what was wrong. Now, after traipsing from one end of Wally-world to the other, I was already in pain and the prospect of waiting for another to catch the bus was daunting. But I didn’t tell him anything other than I had missed the bus, darn it. He sympathized and walked to his truck. Then he came in a few minutes and inquired where I lived. When I told him, he offered me a ride home.

    Now, I’m not normally in the habit of acepting rides from strangers, especially at Walmart. I covertly checked his groceries-no beer was evident, just food-and checked my internal warning system, admittedly not the best thing, but gut instinct will at least say, “hey, don’t go there”. Everything seemed normal. I said, “Thanks, that is very kind of you.” and followed him to his truck. He put my groceries in his truck and we proceeded to drive off.

    On the way he told me about his daughter who was around my age who had just finished going back to school to get her degree in education. I told him about my newly discovered back woes and some stories from the library. We both agreed that Abingdon is a fine place to live. He said  that if I’ve been in Appalachia since my 30s, I should just go ahead and now start saying that I’m from here. When we finally got to my place, he said it had been nice to meet me, I thanked him for the ride, and we parted most amicably. No creepy Deliverance music ever made an appearance.