Hallway to Nowhere

Tag: atheist

  • Labels And Identity

    This is how I ID: Ace (asexual); FtN (Female to Neutrois); Aro (aromantic) Queer; Atheist; Progressive. That pretty much covers it. So. I often get asked, “Why use labels? Why not just be yourself?” Here is my answer.

    I use the labels I do because they EXIST now. And for me as an individual, they are wondrous concepts. Imagine spending your entire life seeing the color blue. You could try to describe the color to other people but didn’t really have the words for it. Then later in your life you discover that there are others who see the color blue, also. You find out that there ARE words for this and that BLUE is a color, and for the first time, you are able to talk about it. You are NOT alone in your weird little world, seeing this intense thing by yourself.

     

    So, there’s that aspect of it. Also, I find them useful shorthand that provides a succinct description of who I am. Since those terms are relatively unfamiliar to most in these neck of the woods except for those who take an interest in gender theory,  using them usually gives me an opportunity to give a (very) brief mini-update on nonbinary gender. Most people are open to hearing about it, though skeptical as to whether it exist “really” or if it’s just something that is made-up and  imported from those crazy people in, Idk, California…(much like some folks still think of baby kale or arugula, lol.) I don’t mind this and accept that not everyone will understand or agree. This IS SW VA. But change is coming, however slowly. And I’ll continue to use my labels and ask for my “they/their/them” pronouns. Thank you.

  • My Response To My Christian Troll

    You sent me repeated mesages that were not nice at all. You attacked my beliefs, or rather my lack of belief, and then you went to criticize my attractiveness. And you did this all in the guise of Christianity, in a attempt on a DATING SITE, to convert me. The only thing I did to provoke this onslaught was to mention in my introduction that I was an atheist. That apparently was enough to justify inappropriate behavior that borders on being seemingly unstable.

    I usually would have responded snarkily. But I had been pondering the deep divisions I see around me and I made the decision that wherever possible I would not contribute to this on an individual basis. I do not know what a person is struggling with that makes them act or say the way they do and so I resolved to endeavor to try harder to treat others with kindness and compassion. And that means you. That means the person who gets in my face at the laundromat to berate me about Trump for no apparent reason. That means every single person I encounter, whether I like them or dislike them. I have generally approached people with the idea everyone I meet is a decent human being struggling to do the best they can with what they have at that moment…until they prove differently. Now I’m making an effort to eliminate that last clause. Some people WILL do their best to prove me wrong, true. But I am going to treat them kindly and with respect. Because that is what human beings do. Will I fail sometimes? Sure. I’m not perfect. But I will make the effort.

  • Another Attack By A (Christian) Troll

    Another Attack By A (Christian) Troll

    I have a profile at a dating site. I put it up in hopes that I would meet some interesting new FRIENDS, being as I live in a small town and meeting people here is difficult. In my introduction I was candid about being: ace, agender, aromantic, and atheist. Last night the last adjective proved to be too upsetting for another user, resulting in the following encounter:

    SHE initiates contact with me to say something innocuous, “heya, how are you?” I always take the time to read the profile of anyone who contacts me, and hers emphatically stated that she wished to talk to others about traveling. So I responded with a question, “I’m fine, thank you. I see your profile says that you wish to talk about traveling? So where do you wish to travel, or where have you traveled?” She responds with a long diatribe about Jesus and how she believes in God. Okkkkay, then. My usual response would be to say something snarky, but I had told myself that this week I would endeavor to be kinder and gentler to all I met. This includes Christian people who are hell-bent on saving my soul. So I replied with a polite answer and wished her a Happy Thanksgiving. She contacts me AGAIN this morning to find out why I wasn’t responding to her god-talk and then sends another message that she doesn’t find “men-looking” women attractive.  I’m beginning to lose my patience at this point. But I remember my resolution. Though I know that I am wasting my time, I do  respond, albeit still politely. I say that she has voiced her dislike of my beliefs and my appearance through more than one message now and I am frankly puzzled as to why she keeps contacting me. I am happy for her that she is saved by Jesus hopes that she has a blessed Thanksgiving. Then I blocked her.  I don’t think she realized this, for I continued to get messages from her. They went unread.

    WHY do some Christians feel entitled to engage in this behavior? And this is definitely a CHRISTIAN thing. You don’t see practitioners of ANY other religion doing this sort of thing. It irks me to no end. Not only is it highly annoying; it is presumptuous, contemptuous, and entitled. It CLEARLY says, “I know better than you do what is best for you and I am prepared to trample all over your beliefs and your rights in the name of my god.” This is what gives Christianity a bad name and a black mark in the eyes of so many non-Christians. These type of Christians don’t just do this to atheists; they’ll do this to ANYONE who doesn’t subscribe to their brand of Christianity-even other Christians. But atheists really seem to rile them, I’ll admit. We’re like a direct challenge to them, some sort of theological red flag. My life would probably be a lot easier if I would play nice, as a pastor friend of mine suggested, and start saying that I’m an agnostic. It sounds better, he says, less militant and harsh. Not so confrontative.

    I’m sorry. Let’s talk about confrontation, shall we? A CHRISTIAN shouted at me that I’m damned while I was walking to the farmers market upon merely hearing, “No, I’m an atheist, sir.” A CHRISTIAN told me to “FUCK OFF, you’re obviously not on your way to church!” while on his way to CHURCH, after I helpfully and politely informed him that he had parked his car illegally and that it would be towed. A CHRISTIAN told me that I should be DEPORTED b/c I didn’t believe in a CHRISTIAN god. And, as described above, a CHRISTIAN sought me out on a DATING SITE to revile both my beliefs and my looks. So who is seeking confrontation here? Do I knock on doors and ask, “Pardon me, have you studied the good news about critical reasoning and rationality?” Do I stand at the entrance of the farmers market and read from Darwin? Do I hand out pocket-sized editions of Richard Dawkins “The God Delusion” to be distributed by legions of middle-aged atheists and placed in motel rooms nationwide? Maybe someone needs to start doing this. IF I keep encountering Christian trolls, maybe it might be me.

  • Finding No Comfort At A Christian Candlelight Vigil

    Finding No Comfort At A Christian Candlelight Vigil

    This week has left me saddened and dispairing over my encounters with the Christian community in my small town. Here is what I’ve encountered here in the Bible Belt:

    First earlier in the week after the Charlottesville protest, I was speaking to a friend on transit. This person is somewhat elderly and has a devopmental disability. She was frightened and concerned that the violence she had witnessed might come to our small town. I was reassuring her that she was safe and that I believed she need not fear. She patted my hand and thanked me, saying “God bless you.” The transit driver then interjected into the conversation to inform her that I did not believe in god and that I was laughing at her words. All I had said in response to her was a simple “Thank you.” I would never hurt her by ridiculing her beliefs, nor would I try to distress her. She was alarmed already and his words just added to her fear. I attempted to assuage her concern and not inflame the situation. All I said to the driver was to remind him that the First Amendment also applies to atheists, after she had departed from the bus. He then said that it only applies to people who believed in god and that I should be deported (because I’m atheist).  This was said in all seriousness.

    The more I thought about this encounter, the more disturbing I found it. First, that he should use another person’s distress to target me seemed extremely callous. This passenger should not have been subject to more reason for confusion. She was already anxious and upset. She did not need to be brought into his dislike of my atheism. That is extremely uncalled for and beyond the pale. Second, he showed me that I have misread his character. He is a self-proclaimed “good Christian” and conservative Trump supporter. We have engaged in what I thought was good-natured banter in the past. But, while I am known to be a progressive activist, I have never crossed the line into attacking someone personally for his/her/xir beliefs. I firmly believe that the rights of everyone to have their own political and religious beliefs should be respected and that diversity is something to be valued.I don’t expect everyone to agree with me on politics, religion, sexuality, or any other subject. Indeed, I TRY to seek out and engage others with opposing views, not to  change their minds by debate but to find out how others think and feel. I don’t want to live in my own little bubble. At the same time, though, I do let them know who I am and what I espouse. But I also accompany this by kind actions and compassion.

    So, feeling shaken already by yet another disconcerting brush with Christianity here in the South, I attended a candlelight vigil last night. It had been advertised on FB and was held at a local church. I had not realised that this was to be religious (Christian) service, as the church where it was held had been the site for other nonreligious activites I had previously attended and it was not mentioned in the advert. But I resolved to stay, enjoy the beautiful hymns, and find some peace and comfort with others.  I also wanted to hear that  local Christians were other than my recent experiences would allow and not represented by those who would attack and exclude others.

    This is what I heard. I say this with the hope that despite my attempt to be there as a fellow human being and seeker of peace that I misconstrued the message. There were four pastors officiating, each representing a different church and leading a different segment of the service. The first gave a rather standard talk on peace, using the familiar word of Francis of Assisi. The second, an African preacher, was much more inspiring, using  fire and eloquence. I felt hopeful. THEN came the third pastor on the topic of love. He spoke of how Christians are supposed to love EACH OTHER and not criticize other Christians. I waited  to hear his expansion of this into how Christians were to treat ALL people. But that message never arrived. Instead, he reiterated several more times that Christians were one body and were to love their CHRISTIAN neighbors and treat them well. He was conspicuous (to me, at least, as the non-Christian there) by his deafening silence on how Christians are to treat those of other faiths or of no faith at all. Then came the fourth pastor who talked about justice. After a rather vague account of Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, which seemed to have little connection with his theme of justice (perhaps I’m just obtuse), he went on to say that Jesus-and his father also by extension-loves CHRISTIANS and made it abundantly clear that he loves them above we lesser beings who don’t believe. As per the previous pastor, he said this three times, using different passages from the Christian New Testament. And again, no mention at all that presumably god also loves those who are other then Christian.

    I left the service feeling  alone , beleaguered, and saddened. I had hoped to hear a message of comfort and hope for all humans. Instead I came away with the understanding that the attacks I had experienced at the hand of “good” Christians were part and parcel of the culture of this region. I really don’t like to believe this but am slowly coming to think that those whom I DO know to embody the best teachings of Christianity in their words and deeds, who are compassionate, kind, and loving towards ALL, are anomalous. To freely aid a stranger, comfort the lonely, and help anyone in need…well, here at least, these words only seem to apply to other Christians.

    I don’t think I’ll be converting.

     

     

  • Faith and Office

    So. I get an email from Hillary telling me how she has picked Tim Kaine to be her VP. As a Virginian  I’m happy, though I had hoped she’d pick Elizabeth Warren. But something has been irking me. She made a point of telling me how he and his had joined a church and built a home centered around faith. And this annoys me why? Because I do not think his faith has anything to do with his ability to govern, unless I’m missing something and churches ARE now teaching classes. (Given the current political atmosphere, I fully expect that some Evangelical churches probably are doing that very thing.)  I long for the day when a political candidate does not feel obliged to take a faith-based litmus test in order to run for public office in the US, as if being a good Christian automatically confers greater executive, legislative, or judicial skills. I say “good Christian” because, despite there being Jewish and even a few Muslim elected officials, we all know that Christianity is the religion that rules the land. Witness the RNC. And let agnostics and atheists beware! For a individual to come out publicly as a nonbeliever is the kiss of death. No-one currently serving in the Senate or House of Representatives admits to being atheist or even agnostic. Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif.), the only openly avowed atheist, left office in 2013; Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) only came out as atheist after he had left office. No-one atheist has ever been elected to the Supreme Court. There are still states where it is AGAINST THE LAW for an atheist to hold public office.

    One of the many things I liked about Bernie was that I DIDN’T hear him talk about his faith. I never heard him say anything about how he belonged to this or that synagogue, how much god meant to him, etc. etc. Of course, he IS Jewish, and we tend to talk and think about religion differently than Christians. And, to give Hillary her due, she doesn’t beat you over the head with a religious schtick (pun intended), either. I think she mentions it about as much as she has to.  She might have her personal beliefs,  but I’m pretty confident that the government she runs will not be faith-based and  that the wall of separation between church and state will be respected. And that, I’m afraid, is about as much as we can ask for, given the current furor and frenzy that seems to sweeping the land.