Hallway to Nowhere

Tag: change

  • Where I Am (Poem)

    If I truly wish for all beings to be happy and free from suffering,

    I must apply this also to myself.

    At the moment, with my physical being wracked by pain

    And my mind clouded by bleak depression,

    I find this to be a difficult task.

    Equanimity towards my own state is a struggle.

    Occasionally I relax into spaciousness and acceptance.

    But old patterns return again and again

    To obscure my view and murk the light.

    Sometimes I can see that these are illusion and let them go;

    Other times I grasp them tightly as old familiar friends.

    Indeed, they once were ropes that tethered me in safety.

    So rather than judging them (and myself for holding on to such),

    Let me honor their place, grant them gratitude,

    And treat them gently with kindness.

    I walk the path I do in knowledge that it looks the same

    But, like everything, is always changing.

    I still stumble and even fall. The rocks that bruise me

    Appear like the stones from yesterday and before, even unto the distant past.

    Yet when I pause to see, after the pain of impact, they are not.

    I take hold again of my stick, pull myself up, and even take in

    The glorious colors of the trees and sky and listen to the wind.

    I walk on with my usual unsteady gait until the next halt.

    This is where I am.

  • Cataclysm (Poem)

    How do I construct a world?

    The very sky is ever-shifting with shadow and light.

    The earth beneath moves and trembles.

    The lines of existence are in flux.

    Dreams fly apart and come together in unrecognizable forms.

    Past and present spiral and flow in mutable streams.

    Any certainty slips through my hands like liquid sand.

    But glorious songs weave through the cracks in hope.

    So I celebrate nonetheless.

  • Reflections On Illness (Poem)

    Practice can be difficult.

    Often my body is filled with pain

    Or clouded by fever.

    I realize again

    That compassion and patience

    Must be extended to myself.

    I consider impermanence and the connection of all,

    Grateful for the many kindnesses of others.

    These current conditions will change.

    One breath at a time.

  • Where I Live (Poem)

    Where do I take refuge?

    If I build my happiness on external factors,

    I will lose this. Always.

    A futile task, as this brings short-term satisfaction

    Which leaves me wondering where to go next.

    My home will present problems

    So that I move to find a better place. Again and again and again.

    I think surely this time I will be content.

    But there I am, and I remain the same.

    I cannot leave myself behind

    Yet I cast my unease as resulting from the wrong circumstances.

    I want to stay in the place where I dwell

    Without adding to my own suffering.

    Just being alive can bring pain enough.

    Let me learn wisdom, practice kindness,

    Thereby to find peace.

  • Chimerical Home (Poem)

    We all abide in temporary dwellings; none of our houses do we own.

    Whatever contract we established; whatever money we paid;

    Our residence remains ephemeral and always subject to sudden change.

    No matter what we devote to maintenance and decoration,

    We leave in the end for another transient domicile.

    Another moves in to change all our endeavors.

    Consider carefully where we place our time and effort.

    Wherever we go, we take only ourselves. Where then should be our attention?

  • Stillness & Movement (Poem-PouncePunk Art Challenge)

    How to find a still mind?

    Try being aware of movement,

    The ever-flowing change that is always occurring.

    Take the body, for example.

    Even in the midst of the deepest meditation or dreamless state,

    There are infinite shifts taking place.

    Cells replace themselves; breath moves in and out; the heart beats; and so on.

    Similar processes happen across the physical world,

    From the most minute particles all the way to vaster aspects of slow relentless geologic change.

    Accepting this impermanence with equanimity

    And relinquishing the notion that this will stop in any way

    Provides a space to relax and rest with a sense of ease.

    This will also evolve but observe with detachment.

    Nothing (and everything) lasts forever. This need not cause suffering.

    Find the path to peace and joy.

  • The God of the Doorway (Poem)

    Now is a good time to reflect upon deities

    And who we will decide to worship, and why?

    We all have idols, numerous ones,

    Acknowledged or not,

    So it behooves us to choose wisely.

    I would suggest liminal beings,

    For we are on the threshold in many ways,

    Looking backwards and stepping forward.

    We need divinities that speak to transition,

    Enable us to handle change and be not afraid,

    And move from warring with each other to peace,

    Gods and goddesses that do not compete for supremacy,

    Nor encourage us to do so,

    But instead work for the betterment of all existence

    And inspire us to do likewise.

    I know who I think upon: to whom do you pray?

  • The Return (Poem)

    My grey-cloaked companion has returned,

    Their absence but a brief hiatus.

    They have brought the usual accoutrements:

    Worsening fatigue and malaise; a restless mind; heightened bodily aches;

    And, of course, emotional pain.

    I dared not think they would not be back

    At some point in time.

    But I had hoped to enjoy life a bit longer.

    Change is the nature of things, though,

    So I will endeavor to face this with equanimity

    And continue on my path.

  • Peripeteia (Poem)

    A slight anticipation, a catching of the breath,

    Heralds the moment of great change.

    The world tilts, and the possibilities

    Open myriad paths.

    What lies ahead on any of them?

    The only way to know is to proceed.

  • Theresa’s Story (Poem)

    I see you now,

    Your face turned away from me

    And hidden in shadow.

    You will be everywhere

    As I move through this changed life,

    The one I used to live with you.

    The birds you rescued have fledged and flown the nest.

    I am slowly getting the house organized.

    When I go out, people ask where you’ve been.

    Sometimes I still can’t bring myself to answer.

    This grief is yet very raw.

    I will survive, but I miss you so.