Hallway to Nowhere

Tag: farmers market

  • Farmers Market Drama/Fragile Men

    This is another blog post which will not get posted to my social media. It is being written mainly for my own benefit, and I don’t expect anyone else to read it really. I’m still SMH in shock over two events that occurred and wondering how I ended up getting involved in FM drama. So here’s what went down:

    The first incident involved me and a friend sitting and having a convo. I had inquired how her grandson was doing, b/c he used to be a friend of mine and I knew that he had been having a rough time.  She said that he had had a stressful day or two then we moved on to other things. He was not the main topic, just a passing thread. We were laughing about something else when he storms up and begins yelling at her (and by extension me) that the next time she wants to talk about him, to do it to his face. I freeze. I’m unused to folks yelling and don’t know what to do. He storms back off, uninterested in a rational talk on the subject or in knowing WHAT we were in fact discussing. I’m torn between “WTF, dude!” and “Holy shit , J—“, does he need meds or something?” She says to just let it go. Since he addressed HER, I let it go. BUT I feel shaken nonetheless.  It left me feeling less welcome at the FM. (The grandson, btw, is not a youngster. He is in his 40s. He has been the subject of several of my blog entries. He’s the former chef who ghosted me.)

    The other incident also involved a fragile man. What IS it with guys and their egos? I almost titled this blog, “I’m Sorry Your D&ck Is So Small” out of sheer frustration.  Like, is that the root cause ? Idk.  I’m just speculating here, lol. So, on with my story. I get home to find an email awaiting from ANOTHER vendor. HE wants to knows why I’m “shunning him” and says its obvious that I’m very upset. Again, WTF?

    Okay, I haven’t been shunning you,  guy. OR your wife. And if you saw me “obviously upset” (?), maybe you saw me AFTER I had just been YELLED at by first fragile dude.  And now I come home to find an email from another man needing to have his needs met. Wonderful. What do you want from me?  I sent him back an email that was more tactful I felt like being. I said I hadn’t intended any rudeness towards him or his wife. I am having health issues that could account for my preoccupation. And, look, we don’t know each other socially except incidentally. I wasn’t mean or harsh. But basically I said in a nice way that life is not the XX (his initials) show, mine anyway.

     

    Then I made another playlist. I made AWESOME playlists on my YouTube channel, btw. This one I called “Grow The F&ck Up”. After spending time on it, I felt MUCH better.

    Here’s one of the songs:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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  • Smiling Faces

    Smiling Faces

    I’ve thought long and hard about this this blog post. Finally I decided that I needed to write it. Last Saturday something happened at the local farmers market that I find disturbing, both on a personal level and as a commentary on how men feel free to interact with someone they perceive as female. I have been struggling with whether or not to write about this, for to do so makes it public. But I think this deserves to be talked about. The more women and others allow men to do this, the more they will do this, either because they think it is acceptable or because they believe they will not be called on it. So:

    I was having a conversation with several vendors I know. One (a man) jokingly said of the other that she was looking for a man. News to me, but whatever. I was taken aback at how he said it, though. It was sudden and inappropriate. That began the sorry slide of  continuing remarks of a supposedly jocular tone that were related to dating and or sex. Now this person is older than I am and knows I’m queer. I do NOT know what possessed him to do this. We’ve always been very cordial. I was helping him sell some of items that day in an informal manner, as I have hithertofore liked him and what he manufactored. I tried to laugh what he said off.

    But I can’t. He wasn’t overtly lewd, just enough suggestive to make me uncomfortable, but that it happened at all has now changed the way I see him AND the farmers market. He is no longer a person around whom I feel comfortable. He is moved from my “safe” list to my “unsafe” list. And, sadly, his actions and words have made the FARMERS MARKET, a place which had been one of my most favorite places in Abingdon, now a place where I know that I still have to be on guard. It was naive of me not to have been otherwise.

    Part of me wants to go on a rant. To say: What sort of world is this where a woman (I know, I don’t ID as female,  but still get defaulted that way) can’t fucking GO TO THE FARMERS MARKET without being subjected to some utterly obtuse male thinking it is fine to make sexually suggestive comments? And also: Hello, Harvey Weinstein???  You’d think especially NOW he’d have better sense than to do this type of thing? And so on. But I’m not going to do so. I’m too saddened and disapponted by what transpired. But I could not let it go with saying something. Now I have.