If I truly wish for all beings to be happy and free from suffering,
I must apply this also to myself.
At the moment, with my physical being wracked by pain
And my mind clouded by bleak depression,
I find this to be a difficult task.
Equanimity towards my own state is a struggle.
Occasionally I relax into spaciousness and acceptance.
But old patterns return again and again
To obscure my view and murk the light.
Sometimes I can see that these are illusion and let them go;
Other times I grasp them tightly as old familiar friends.
Indeed, they once were ropes that tethered me in safety.
So rather than judging them (and myself for holding on to such),
Let me honor their place, grant them gratitude,
And treat them gently with kindness.
I walk the path I do in knowledge that it looks the same
But, like everything, is always changing.
I still stumble and even fall. The rocks that bruise me
Appear like the stones from yesterday and before, even unto the distant past.
Yet when I pause to see, after the pain of impact, they are not.
I take hold again of my stick, pull myself up, and even take in
The glorious colors of the trees and sky and listen to the wind.
I walk on with my usual unsteady gait until the next halt.
This is where I am.
Thank you for teaching me patience amidst urgency.
Yes, my time here in this body is precious and brief,
And I wish to do as much good as possible for both myself and others.
But I can relax into this path
By realizing that my limitations are many and varied.
I am a traveler like everyone,
And my supplies and journey are affected by myriad different things.
The way can seem daunting, with unexpected detours and deterrents.
My progress speeds and slows and sometimes halts for awhile,
For I am not commencing alone in a void.
I continue step by step with a steady mind and open heart,
With the knowledge that eventually I will reach my destination.
While I travel, I experience pleasures and griefs on the way,
With appreciation that they are temporary and ever-changing.
Remember always that scenery is only scenery
And continue to walk.
I stand at threshold of the path.
The gateway stands before me.
I look once, twice, and yet again.
At first glance, I see a plain simple structure.
Then it appears rich, bejeweled, and ornate.
On third look, it transforms back to an ordinary entrance.
Will I pass through to start the journey?
Yes, and yes, and yes.
All I have to do choose to begin.
One step, one breath, one life at a time.
Let me grateful.
For when I awaken in the morning.
If I do so with relative ease and comfort,
This is a joy.
If I do so with suffering and pain,
This is also a joy.
Whatever happens, I have enormous opportunity.
Whether the day brings a chance to actively study and reflect;
Whether the day brings time to pause and rest.
Each provides an expedient time to practice.
May I seize every occasion possible
To act with kindness, compassion, and patience.
Towards myself; towards other beings; towards the world.
Walking a path, I stumble over a rock in the way.
It reminds me to be more aware,
Look downwards as well as ahead,
To pause and give this my attention.
How so then
Does this continue to happen?