You still live on.
Not in some celestial hall,
Separate from those you left behind,
And watching them go about their lives.
No, you remain present
In the stories we tell of you,
Among those who knew and loved you.
And you will reach strangers even yet,
As these are shared,
And people see your name to ask,
Who was this?
While we are here to remember and tell
And all those who come after us who have heard,
You will live.
I see you now,
Your face turned away from me
And hidden in shadow.
You will be everywhere
As I move through this changed life,
The one I used to live with you.
The birds you rescued have fledged and flown the nest.
I am slowly getting the house organized.
When I go out, people ask where you’ve been.
Sometimes I still can’t bring myself to answer.
This grief is yet very raw.
I will survive, but I miss you so.
I didn’t jump, but I remember
The long walk to the edge.
Each step felt like a promise;
Each breath felt like a scream.
The relentless drum beat
Counting down my life
Had as its message:
Today; today; today.
I stood there and listened,
As I looked at the rocks far below.
Then I turned and began the journey back.
————————————————————————————————————-
IF you or someone you know is considering suicide:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-8255
Reach out.
We look around at a landscape
Forever altered by the presence of nuclear weapons.
We stand and wonder,
Where is our home? And who will lead us there?
We hear the inexorable ticking of the clock
As it moves closer to midnight.
Do not turn away and hide.
That seems the easy path, but it is futile.
We must open our eyes, our ears, our hearts, and our minds
To join together to repair this broken world.
The varied clothing of our differences-
Be they religion, skin color, nationality or any other-
Does not change our relation underneath.
Everyone is part of the family of humanity.
Let us choose life, so that all might live.
Once again I find myself
A renitent gadfly, with a rebarbative voice.
Familiar but tiresome,
And I am loath to continue this charade.
I am no Ariadne in these times.
Indeed, should I be compared to anyone,
Give me the name of Cassandra.
I discomfit and discomfort
While being seen as caviling.
Let me go my solitary way.
I’ll soon be crying out for Charon anyway.
Do I sit here in quietness and contemplation?
I can do that, yes.
But right now I want to MOVE!
I hear the music and the beat,
And my body says dance, dance, dance
While you’ve got this chance, chance, chance.
And I feel the joy and the laughter
All around me in the songs
Healing all the wrongs
(Not just mine but the world’s)
I want to explode with wonder.
A friend’s cousin died.
Train whistles a mournful sound.
Snow falls in darkness.
Shards of a tea cup.
My hand trembled in the night.
Outside the ice melts.
Steam rises from the tea.
Consider these things.
The tea did not brew itself.
The tea did not magically appear in the cup.
The tea will not float on the air to be sipped.
I have to act for these to happen.
Let me do so in a mindful manner.
That I might enter fully this moment in time.
My dog gave proof that she is more
Than the pretty construct in my mind
And a wonderful companion.
She is teeth and claws and a fierce heart.
She will strike with deadly force
And kill to defend to our home.
She remembers that she is related to wolves,
Even though I did not.
She is a working dog,
And her talents are myriad and great.
I am so grateful to have her in my life.
