This is my Harvey Weinstein story. I’ve never revealed this before. When I was in my first semester of college, a very young undergrad (age 16), I was sexually assaulted by a professor. Not only was he much older that I, married, he was also an administrator. He was not a prof in any of my classes but did run one of the programs in which I was enrolled. We had met at a party for the Honors College that I attended. (Just in case you are wondering, there was no alcohol or drugs at this gathering. ) We talked about literature. He mentioned that he lived not far from my apartment, and asked if I was interested in babysitting his son. I said that I would like to meet his son first, as he had indicated he had some disabilities, and I wanted to be sure I could physically cope with whatever was necessary. We agreed on a time to meet in the afternoon the next day.
I walked to his house. Now keep in mind that this was in the mid-70s so pre-cell phone and pre-PC. I really had no way to vet this guy other than to ask around and I had no reason to think I needed to do that. I mean, he was a person I would assume I should trust- an admin and a respected prof. So I blithely went off alone and didn’t mention to anyone where I was going. After all, I expected that his wife and son would be there. What was to worry about?
I should have worried. I arrived there to find him alone. He said his wife and son would be home soon. I thought, “Okay”. He took me into his study…how cheesy, right? We went in there and he pulled out a book to hand to me. He dropped it. I leaned to pick it up, the next thing I know, I’m on the floor with him on top of me…thinking WTF??? He’s a big guy and I’m not. He’s trying to kiss me; I’m turning away, and saying NONONONO. He keeps saying, “You came here, you came here, you came here….” Inside my head is the words NOT FOR THIS NEVER FOR THIS and he’s unzipping his pants but then the we hear a noise outside. His wife and son had returned. I’ve been saved. He whispers, “You wanted this this, you know.”
The next day I found a gift-wrapped copy of the Necronomicon had been delivered to my apartment, along with a note that said that he and his wife had an arrangement. If I tried to tell anyone what happened, she would say that I had seduced her husband. I was shaking as I read the note. I didn’t tell anyone. I just unenrolled from anything having to do with him, avoided him on campus, and made sure to tell my friends to do the same.
Looking back, I’m can see now that he was a predator plain and simple. I’m sure I was not the first student he had pulled that babysitting routine with and unfortunately, because I did not tell anyone, I was not the last. Why didn’t I tell? Because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I was a very young student. He was a reputable venerable professor in a postion of power and privilege. And I feared losing my early admission and having to return to high school. And I didn’t want to be seen as a victim. And I was ashamed… it gets turned around into, “that I allowed this to happen to me.”