Hallway to Nowhere

Category: poems

  • The Second Amendment Sanctuary Scare

    Well, now that there is a new Democratic day in Virginia, folks all over the place are panicking and passing “Second Amendment Sanctuary” resolutions. Really. Do your GUNS NEED THAT MUCH PROTECTION? Why not just wrap your whole county in (red) bubble wrap, turn on Fox as loud as you can, and call it a day.  Campbell County, Lee County, y’all already fallen. There’s a petition out for Frederick County to go the same way, and maybe one for Appomattox County. And I’m SURE that the BOS will vote Washington County to declare itself, too.

    This is Republican gesturing, nothing more. They are signaling to their conservative base that they will play to them and their fears and cater to any conspiracy-driven notions that might arise. (Hey, guess what? Obama NEVER came fer yer guns, now did he?)  But I misspoke. I inserted the word “conservative”.  By now it should be clear to ALL that the partisan divide is this: Republicans (and by this, I mean you have to be a red-capped Trump-lovin’ gawd-fearin’ CONSERVATIVE…or else!) and Democrats (and by this, I mean you need to start getting with the progressive program, folks!).  The time for thinking or lying to pollsters, “Well, I’m an independent, you know,” is OVER.  No-one is that. I’ve done canvassing for candidates and grassroots organizing. I know better. That is a fiction people tell  themselves so they don’t have to take a side. But most? Are truly Republicans afraid to admit it. But rabidly so. They want their guns, their god, their babies, and their (confederate) flag….in that order.

    Sorry, got off-topic a bit. My point is that this rush to protect the SECOND AMENDMENT is symbolic, unnecessary, and flashy.  The counties and possibly later cities that do so aren’t REALLY concerned so much that guns will taken (except perhaps for the truly paranoid) but wish to tell those watching that they are staunchly WITH THE PROGRAM, STANDING WITH THE PREZ, KAG, etc. etc. It’s a form of wrapping themselves in a NRA/MAGA/GOP flag. (Pardon me while I go throw up at this image. Ugh.) It’s SO red that if it had a sickle and hammer, China could use it. Or make it into a MAGA hat. 😉

  • Red SWVA, The Blue Wave, and The Death of Appalachia

    So the elections have come and gone. I’m feeling…conflicted. On one hand, since I DO live in Virginia, and we flipped the Assembly, I’m happy. As an member of the LGBTQ community and a resident in general, that can only be good for the values I hold near and dear. However, I live in SWVA-Washington County. Not quite the coalfields, but Appalachia, still. While I love where I live in many respects, this election brought me up short. When I went to vote, I was confronted by a veritable wall (and I use that word deliberately) of WOMEN wearing MAGA hats who urged me to go cast my vote for the President.  I mildly, esp. for me, told them I wasn’t aware that he was on the ballot in my precinct and proceeded to vote. Not that it did any good. Republicans swept the ballot, with the exception of Josh Cumbow, who somehow retained his position.  Here’s my take:

    We frequently lament that the powers that be think that Virginia stops at Roanoke. Well, with this vote that we just did? It might as well. Unless the folks we are sending to the GA are prepared to work in a mighty bipartisan way-and, yeah, REPUBLICANS are SO known for that ability, we don’t exist. We have NOTHING to offer the rest of Virginia, except a cautionary tale: we are what the state ONCE was like in terms of cultural mores and hopes to put to rest. God, guns, and babies might play well in the pulpit, and it sure turned voters out here to vote for “Trump Republicans”. But has it GAINED us anything, in terms of political, economic, or other benefit? I would argue not. We still can’t attract businesses, b/c who wants to bring employees here to a place that literally has so little to offer, except for gorgeous terrain? Young folks leave as soon as they can,  b/c it is regressive and going backwards rather attempting to find ways to change.  We seem to be militant in our embrace of stagnation and, dare I say, stupidity.

    I speak as one who is a transplant. I love this region and have called it home for many years.  I do not want to see it die. But dying it is, far as I can tell. And the folks who live here it are in large part hastening Appalachia’s demise. And that’s a shame.

     

  • It’s Time To Stop Saying “Senseless Shooting”

    After reading about 2 mass shootings in 2 different cities within 13 hours with a total of 29 people dead, I want to suggest that it is now way past time to stop calling these “senseless shootings”. From the virulent anti-immigrant manifesto penned by El Paso shooter, it is quite obvious that this was done for a very specific reason. It was calculated to target, kill, and further inspire terror in the greater Hispanic community at large and (he hoped) encourage them to flee the country.  Not random and not senseless. The motives for the Dayton, Ohio shooter were not as clearly or as neatly laid out, but it is known that he made out a hit list earlier.  So he definitely had this on on his mind. It also was not a random, senseless act, even if those killed were. The act itself was planned.

    A mass shooting takes forethought. It requires that you gain access to the weapons, conceal the weapons, and bring the weapons to the venue where the killing will take place. This in itself is prima facie evidence that that mass shootings cannot be termed “senseless”. YOU might not get why someone does such an act, but there is always a reason. And lately? It is tied up somehow with politics. I’m getting really fed up with the “thoughts and prayers” response. I mean sure, DO THAT, but also pass EFFECTIVE GUN CONTROL LAWS WITH TEETH, TOO!

  • Feeling SO Outre As An Atheist In A Small Rural Town

    I belong to a discussion group on racial awareness. It is sponsored by the Episcopal Church and grew out of the Traces Of the Trade film/Sacred Ground.  The group that attends is composed of some church folk and some progressives, like me. The rector is aware that that some participants might not be Christian and might not even be believers at all, though I think I am the only atheist who attends this. He does a fairly good job, for a priest, at keeping HIS god-bothering to a minimum. Sadly, though, I can’t say the same for his church-going parishioners.  god is front and center in many conversations, and I find myself veering from uncomfortable to annoyed to WTF.

    Here’s an example. One of the parishioners this past time relayed two stories. The first had to do with how his “godly employees” had inspired him to stop his habit of cursing. I had to hold myself back from openly, one, laughing and two, commenting, “well, fuck, that definitely inspired ME!” His second story is much more disturbing. He confessed how delighted he was when, after a consultation with a surgeon in this area, upon being informed he would need surgery, the surgeon asked if he (the surgeon) could pray for him! Since I have fought more than one battle to keep this sort of thing from happening, I was quietly appalled. (My reply would have been a quick NO! You can do your job as my physician and keep your religious views to yourself, thank you! And perhaps file a report with Ballad. I take this sort of thing VERY seriously.) And and folks were sitting there getting all warm and fuzzy at his stories. So great to hear how he’s loving the community! Right?

    Ugh. I’m more and more uncomfortable. The whole discussion begins and ends with a prayer. Okay, fine. We ARE in church and this whole thing IS a church deal. So I can roll with that. And the rector doesn’t go heavy on the Jesus stuff. He tries to keep it sorta kinda to spirit-creator-god, for those who might not be into the whole Jesus schtick. But the others are just NOT be as respectful as he is. God-botherers seem to think that EVERYONE is as delighted as they to hear the good news, and isn’t it wonderful? Sigh. I have tried. Really. I have toned DOWN my militancy; NOT made any references to Hitchens or Dawkins or any other objectionable source out of deference to these peoples’ sensibilities. But while I get respect paid to my gender and sexuality (everyone is even careful with my pronouns), it is bleeping obvious that when it comes to me being an ATHEIST? Well, that means nothing, gets ignored, is run roughshod over, etc. etc. But I don’t know I’m willing to keep going back. I’m all for putting myself outside of my comfort zone. I TRY to do so on a regular basis. But  putting myself through regular sessions of targeted disrespect seems above and beyond. I’m not just sure this workshop is worth that.

     

  • Letter To R

    I doubt this will ever be sent to OR read by R. Here goes:

    I’m sorry if I’ve sounded harsh, judgmental, or dismissive of your choice of graduate school. I do not mean to be. In previous times, your choice of attending a divinity school over law school would not trouble me as much. But these are different days than even five years ago. You are 28. You are LGBTQ. These two things are worth noting, in my opinion. Your age makes you a bit older, which is good but also gives you a time factor. You might feel right now that you have all the time in the world to explore your options and even change your mind. The dire straits forced upon the world by the climate crisis will directly impact your generation front and center, though all of us on the planet will have to reckon with it. There is an urgency to everything that was lacking in my day. We are running out of time for everything. We do not have the same luxury to make false starts.

    Second. You are LGBTQ. You have said several times that you don’t intend to become a minister but intend to use this as a tool to continue your work in community organizing and held up William Barbour as an example. But William Barbour is able to be so effective partly b/c his organizing grows out of his deep and abiding religious faith, as well as his wonderful humanity. As an LGBTQ individual, I fear that you will struggle to find a place in a community-any community-once you receive your M.Div. It is NOT getting easier for LGBTQ individuals in this country right now in ANY respect but most especially so vis-a-vis the faith community in many Christian denominations. If I  had seen a calling  to become a minister, I would feel less trepidation at what potentially awaits you.  I fear for your future, though. It will a hard road, I predict. The William Barbours and MLKs of the world have it very difficult when they are hetero and have a strong faith. What vilification awaits you?

    But perhaps I will be wrong. You might have a conviction I know not of already. OR you might have your own personal “Damascus road” experience that will give you strength, faith, and a resounding voice to speak such truth to power that that those who would castigate you (impiously) in the name of their god would at the very least hear you. I hope that I am. But whatever befalls you, I wish you the best . I  will follow your progress. You are one of your generation’s voices. I’m happy I got to know you for a bit. I hope you succeed in your endeavors.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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  • Why Appalachia Needs Immigrants

    The following is a repost of a LTE I had published recently in the Bristol Herald Courier. I could have made a much more nuanced argument but for brevity’s sake decided to K-I-S-S.

    The other day I overheard a person (white older male) comment that that he was tired of seeing all these immigrants coming in and stealing jobs away from good, hard-working Americans and he esp. didn’t want any of them around HERE! I felt compelled then to answer him in this letter. Sir, have you noticed that the population of SWVA is shrinking? We are losing folks, not gaining them. The young people are leaving, by and large, and it is the habit of old people to die. That alone would seem a rather good reason to be welcoming immigrants, not discouraging them. And, let me say, they are indeed NOT taking jobs away from hard-working Americans. Have you seen any immigrants lazing around the streets or just hanging out at a coffee shop? I’d hazard a guess not. Chances are the immigrants you HAVE seen have most likely been working harder than many Americans would at the jobs they have and doing them very efficiently while learning a new language, to boot. Think about that the next time you talk about stealing jobs. And have you SEEN all the “help wanted” signs out? Americans aren’t lining up for these jobs. Finally, and I can’t believe I’m having to say this, WE ARE ALL IMMIGRANTS, indigenous inhabitants excepted (and they too originally walked from somewhere else). It’s just a matter of when did we get here? The United States was founded by immigrants; it has traditionally welcomed immigrants; and that has long been a source of pride and strength for this nation. It can be for APPALACHIA, too. If we let it.

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  • Close Encounters Of The Creepy Kind

    Yesterday I had an up-close and personal encounter that was beyond creepy. It was with two Melaleuca devotees, the company, not tea tree products in general. This was my second brush with this particular scam, and it confirmed my general STRONG feeling that these folks are just icky, as well as as determined to part you from your money. Here’s what went down:

    I had found a flyer at the library for an outfit called The Company Store claiming to sell organic cleaning products and offering free samples. I was curious and called the number for the rep but also instructed them NOT to return my call if they represented a MLM. I had MELALEUCA as a company in mind specifically, since I had had an unpleasant brush with them early in the 90s and did not care to repeat it. I got a return phone call, and the woman assured me she did NOT represent a MLM, she said she was local, and would like to meet with me to show me what she could offer. I said that I was looking for a way to cut down on my use of plastics in my cleaning products, wanted a plant-based cleaning system, and had to  be extremely cautious about switching from my current products (METHOD).  We agreed to meet at the library.

    I’m at the library, and a couple shows up. Right away I get an odd vibe from them. It’s a HOT day, yet the man is wearing a long-sleeved shirt completely buttoned up. But, okay, whatever. The woman is dressed in standard Walmart. So they proceed to tell me THEY REPRESENT MELALEUCA!!! I audibly groan and inform them that I’ve already been through one go-round with Melaleuca,and didn’t I ask you NOT to return my call if you represented a MLM? Oh, it’s not a MLM, they assure me. (They obviously think I’m stupid here.) Then the dude proceeds to pull out a bottle of Melaleuca Tea Tree Oil and tell me WHAT IT IS. (Hello, I’ve already told you I know what Melaleuca IS???) Then they go into their spiel and give me the hard sell, which I have explained to them was PRECISELY what drove me away the FIRST time, aside from the poor products, the point system, and the fact that the whole thing is a fucking scam. They explained that “all you need to spend per month to remain a member is 80.00!” Well, geez, 80.00 on products that aren’t what they claim to be (organic), don’t work, and cost a heck of a lot more than my products that DO work? SIGN ME UP, JACK!!! NOT! These folks just didn’t hear me….

    And here is where the creepiness REALLY amps up: religion was just oozing all over this meeting. This was a Saturday, right? Well, these folks were on their way to CHURCH afterwards. And that’s fine. Good for them. BUT…they had taken note of my name. At the end of the meeting they asked if I were Jewish. I said yes. The guy pulled out a TALLIS and said that his pastor is teaching his weird Jews-for Jesus-type church Hebrew (but  pretty sure  that they have no actual Jews, just Christians doing their own Jew-ish-oid thing).  He then invited me to attend. Ummm, that would a firm “no, thank you.”  I had an encounter with a similar maybe even the same group years before when I lived here. My chiropractor violated HIPAA,  disclosed my deets to this little merry band of whatevs, and they hounded me: phone calls; flyers; even showed up at my residence.  But now I know attorneys….a fair amount of attorneys, and I’m not afraid to call upon them. I will find out what I can do to legally restrain your harassment this time, church or not. Ugh. I DO NOT NEED THIS.

    Throughout all of this I was very polite to these people. I was never disdainful or rude, even when they went into their Hebrew Christian speech (and that sort of thing REALLY pisses me off.) I just gave a nod and said something neutral.  But these folks prey on people, IMO. People who might not realize that they are getting into a MLM with substandard products that WILL pressure you to BUY products you might not be able to afford AND to recruit other people into their little pyramid scheme.  If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck,  looks a duck,  and tests genetically as a duck, I’m sorry, IT’S A FUCKING DUCK. Don’t lie to my face and tell me, “It’s not a duck (MLM)!”

  • Cursing In Latin

    Cursing In Latin

    I was a Classics Major back in the day as an undergrad. When Cheeto Jesus got elected, I amused myself by hurling imprecations at him in Latin and Greek and the occasional Shakespearean reference for good measure. STILL didn’t manage to get banned from his Twitterfeed. A friend pointed out that I was totally batting over his head-the fool probably thought I was COMPLIMENTING him. Sigh. I miss having a literate POTUS.

    My favorite Latin curse: Te odeo. Interface te cochleare! (I hate you. Kill yourself with a spoon!) Appeals to my morbid sense of whimsy. My second fav: Initam te  coniutarati in foro interficiant! (May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!) My third fav (b/c it is so useful): Futue te ipsum! (Go fuck yourself!)

    So. The next time I’m out in public, on transit or at a WaCoDems meeting and you see me muttering to myself? I’m probably cursing someone out….in Latin. There are many more useful phrases that I’ve not listed here. Latin, though technically a dead language, turns out to be extremely useful for venting one’s ire. Who knew? (The ancient Romans!)

  • Falling Hard

    via Falling Hard

  • Falling Hard

    I’m 57, going to be 58 soon. I don’t bounce back like I did in  my 20s 0r 30s. Recently I had a REALLY bad fall, due to a seizure in the wee hours of the morning. Just in case you ever wondered, if you decide to fight with a sturdy barn table, the barn table is guaranteed to win. I ended up with a couple of cracked ribs and some weeks of hobbling around. And one of those “help I’ve fallen and can’t get up buttons” from my insurance company, b/c I live alone and my whippet doesn’t have the capacity to dial 911.  (My NEXT dog will, however, as I am going to go through the American Epilepsy Foundation and apply for a service animal-not an “emotional support dog-ugh”-a dog who is certified as a seizure dog and who has been though extensive training.)

    I’m going through a rough patch right now. I’m struggling with my old nemesis the black dog. Funny, I do better emotionally in the winter and fall. Spring starts to appear and depression rears it ugly head with me. All the coming sunshine just makes me want to cry. Been that way ever since I was a kid, even back in Mississippi. Dad used to tease me about it, then he gave me a boat so I could get away by myself.

    Everyone I know is having a time right now, though. I’ve had two friends die in the past winter. A friend lost her father. Three other friends, my own age, have been diagnosed with life-changing diagnoses. I know others who are emigrating or are considering such. And I’ve friends just vanish from my life for no reason I can discern. I’m learning again to tread lightly with (new) people. Unfortunately, my prevailing sense is that, by and large, folks are just not to be depended upon these days. ALWAYS have a back-up plan and a book in your bag.