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The Tipping Point
WARNING: This blog contains possible triggering content, if you have mental health issues. Or maybe even if you don’t. Idk. Heavy seas ahead, just sayin….
I’ve been alarming my internist this past year. She’s sent the roving social worker to check on mental health state. I now have a diagnosis of “recurrent major depression” on her books. We’ve discussed this. BUT….here’s the thing, and why a trip that is upcoming to my pdoc is unlikely to prove much good:
Depression that is REALITY-based is not actual depression, far as I can see. That is more an accurate assessment of the lay of the land. And from where I sit, I have some legit claims to being a tad morose: Complicated health concerns that are painful, ongoing, getting worse; harassment in my community b/c of gender/orientation/religious beliefs; problematic living conditions; financial concerns that are unlikely to abate, as getting older brings more costs (see the “complicated health concerns”. The current political environment doesn’t help, as it fosters anxiety AND encourages those who like to bully those are different, i.e. people like ME. Ever been the target of a drive-by-Trump rant (PRO)? I have, and it’s not a pleasant thing. No idea WHY I was chosen-was wearing no political gear that day, reading no political book. Maybe I just give off “progressive vibes” or something.
My pdoc is of NO help. The last time I saw him was around the first of the year. His suggestions were to avoid politics and not read the news. Yeah, doc. How’s THAT working out for you? When I go to his office, his secretary is always playing a Christian station. Don’t know if this is HER or if HE is like this also, and that’s why he is telling me such stupid stuff. He’s the best with meds I’ve ever found, the reason I stick with him. But as a therapist, he sorta sucks.His WIFE was much better-old school, listened, AND knew her meds. But she isn’t available. He keeps this up, I might be looking for a new doc. It’s not like I need complicated meds any longer-I value his opinion on psych meds and neuro meds, and he does know his stuff. But his advice on what to do is really off base. I find it SO useless and SO offensive that I’m going to ask him for a referral when I go see him next week. As the kids say, ain’t nobody got time for that!
What I’m wondering is: when do you reach the tipping point? When you finally say on a personal level, “Enough is enough!” So far I keep telling myself I can go on. But everyday, it seems like I have to make this decision anew. It’s not a given anymore. Do most people take life for granted? I don’t. I wake up and and think about it. Right now the balance of this is still on the LIVE side. But that might very well change. I don’t know what would cause it to tip. The death of Miss P? I could see that doing it. A bad election? Another new diagnosis?
By the way, I’ve found a home for Miss P, should something untoward happen to me (the flu, pneumonia, etc.) Thank you all, everyone, who was kind enough to consider being her new home!
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Confronting Charlottesville-One year Later
One year has passed since the debacle at Charlottesville. One year has passed since my own encounters with various forms of hateful acts, but two especially occurred in respect to Charlottesville. (See my blog post entitled Finding No Comfort At A CandleLight Vigil.) While I had reported the drivers who made the remarks that I referenced in this entry, I had never addressed the drivers personally. I decided the time had come to do so. I wrote letters to both men, as they are still driving transit. Here is one letter:
The anniversary of Charlottesville is at hand. I don’t know if you recall telling me I should be deported, but I assure you I most assuredly do do. I’ve never spoken to you regarding this, but it made a profound impact on me. I’ve pondered it over and over during the past year.
B/c I realize you might indeed not remember, here is what transpired. Juanita was riding transit and was visibly upset about the possibility of violence coming to Abingdon. I attempted to comfort her and assure her that she was safe. She patted my hand and told me. “god bless you.” I replied to her, “Thank you.” And THEN you, transit driver, interjected unasked into the conversation THIS: “Oh, she’s (meaning me) laughing at you…she doesn’t believe in god!” This further upset Juanita, who now thinks her friend who is going to hell! She got off of transit even more troubled. I am saddened and aghast that you used one of transit’s most vulnerable passengers to target your anger over my beliefs/politics/orientation. And all I said to you afterwards was, “You know, the 1st Amendment applies to me also.” And your reply was as follows: “No, it doesn’t. You don’t believe in a Christian god. You’re one of them atheists. You should be deported!” (I’m curious-what country did you have mind for me?)
So. Thank you for making me much less safe on public transit. Thank you for making me feel much less welcome in my own country. Thank you for setting an example for “good Christians” everywhere. Thank you for showing me who you are. And finally, thank you for giving much to think about over the past year. I know that I have the reputation of being “the militant” on public transit. But I’ve always endeavored to treat my fellow passengers and the drivers with kindness and respect. I shall continue to do so, though I have no deity instructing me do so. I hope that you do likewise.
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Why I’m Campaigning (And Voting) For Anthony Flaccavento
I am a volunteer for Anthony Flaccavento in Abingdon, VA. Sometimes people will ask me why I am working to get him elected. I decided to put my reasons down on paper, so to speak. A written testimonial, if you were.
First and foremost: Character matters, now more than ever. Anthony is one of the most decent thoughtful individuals I’ve met. I’ve known him for many years, going back to when I lived here before and he ran the first time. He’s never wavered in his unfailing kindness and regard for those around him. This is reflected in his business and his accomplishments, most notably Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture. (Love your local farmer’s market? Might consider voting for Anthony, as ASD has been instrumental in the development and nurturance of these all across Appalachia.)
Second. He is a Man With A Plan, what I call a “concrete visionary.” His rural progressive platform and other such ideas are very specific to this region, which is what we need here. He has definite ideas for what could be done across Appalachia, economically and in other areas. I won’t enumerate them here, as he does a much better job than I. I refer you to his excellent website (flacc4congress.com or to explore his rural progressive platform in depth, ruralprogressivepolitcs.files.wordpress.com) or his book (Building A Healthy Economy From The Bottom Up: Harnessing Real-World Experience For Transformative Change), should you wish to delve further.
Third. Anthony listens and Anthony shows up. If you are a constituent of his and call him with a problem, you WILL be heard and he WILL endeavor to address your concerns. I am certain of this. You won’t get some robo-form letter that says the same thing for every reason you call the office , regardless of WHY you call. ( Yes, Morgan Griffith, I’m talking about YOU!) And Anthony will show up in Congress to DO HIS JOB AND ALSO VISIT THE 9TH DISTRICT! Imagine seeing your Congressman eating at a local restaurant! Being able to visit with him! Talk to him! Wouldn’t THAT be nice?
There are many other reasons, too. But these are the big three. I hope to see you at the polls on Nov 6!
