Hallway to Nowhere

  • Three Guys With Guns

    At first read, this story sounds like an NRA ad come true: two good guys with guns save the day when they come to  the aid and kill a bad guy with a gun. But upon further perusal, you quickly realize that by the admittance of all involved (except the bad guy-he’s dead), this was a narrowly-avoided clusterf&ck. Here’s what happened:

    A shooter approached a restaurant in OKC and opened fire upon its front. The first good guy hears the gunfire, arms, and goes to the scene of the shooting. The second good guy happened to be driving past and stopped to see what was transpiring. When he was told of a shooter, HE arms himself and proceeds to the scene. So. You have the shooter. Good guy one. And good guy two. They concurrently decide the original shooter is the bad guy and shout at him to disarm. When he fails to comply, they open fire. The bad guy dies of multiple gunshot wounds. But not before the police arrive, to find THREE guys with guns on the scene. The bad guy is down by now. But the police, exercising due diligence, handcuff all three and take all men into custody to sort out who is who. The good guys are eventually released. The bad guy, as previously reported, dies. No-one else was hurt during the incident.

    But just consider the possibilities! The good guys stated that that THEY have done so, and that it was purely a matter of luck that they didn’t mistake each OTHER for the shooter. So, just think about this. Now you have two people who are shooting at each other by mistake; an active shooter who still might intent on his original plan of action, so he is still shooting. The risk of casualties, intended or accidental, has just risen greatly. Then add to this the arrival of the police, who are of course ALSO guys with guns. How are they supposed to ID the bad guys with guns from the good guys with guns? (Hats? Idk….) In any case, I’m saying that this is getting to be WAY too many guys with guns. (And please please please don’t tell me the answer is to arm everyone. It’s too late at night for me to even begin to address THAT argument.) If the idea is to keep everyone safer, and that WAS the original intent of the whole guns-thing, this does not seem like a sensible way to be managing it. Unless we’ve changed the intent and it’s now just to protect GUNS, not people.

  • Admit To “Christian Protection” Laws

    With the recent two Supreme Court Decisions, I am most disheartened. I DID see a news clip of a rabbi (haven’t been able to find out who he was) saying something to the effect of “If you want to come after someone, come after me, you sons-of-a bitch!” Good for him! But those groups calling so LOUDLY for “religious liberty” protections? Well, OF COURSE they were celebrating the victory they got with the decision concerning what information a “medical provider” is obliged to give a women about her options when going to a crisis pregnancy center. (In case you don’t know, these places are usually run by antiabortion Christian groups. They will provide a minimum of care to the woman until she gives birth , persuade her to give the baby up for adoption or keep it-ONLY OPTIONS, then she is on her own  and SOL.)  But concerning the treatment of immigrants and the travel ban, which largely affects those from Muslim countries? Deafening silence. So. I propose they just come clean. Stop with all the trumpeting about “religious liberties,” when what they mean is protection for CHRISTIAN values, particularly those of an esp. conservative bent. After all, the POTUS has been saying outright things which should have beyond the pale  and apparently gets a mulligan every time from values voters. So hey, let’s just hear y’all start telling the truth!

  • Disturbing Encounter (With Staff) At A Ballad Healthcare Practice

    Those who know me personally have heard my various stories about my, ahem, continuing fight to ensure that Ballad (once Mountain States and Wellmont, respectively) honors its stated non-discrimination policies. You can easily read them posted on the wall of any (former) Mountain States facility you visit. This particular incident took place at a (former) Wellmont practice, though. The more I’ve reflected on it, the more perturbing I found it, so I did my research. Here’s what transpired:

    The neurologist I had been seeing at Wellmont Neurological Associates had prescribed a VERY old (but most importantly one I had never tried) anti-epileptic. He mentioned that it might be sedating. So I filled the script and got back on the AED merry-go-round. I began noticing as I titrated slowly to my therapeutic dose that I was feeling wired, like I had had 5 cups of coffee and two energy drinks. No sedation, though I read up on the med and given its profile, I should have definitely been feeling a lot less ancy, tense, and hyped up. AEDs are always tricky and sometimes unpredictable in their side effects, but I was having a paradoxical reaction (indeed). I won’t go into the other side effects, only to say that it is just a brutal drug.

    So per protocol I send my neuro a message about this through the patient portal. A week goes by. No response. Finally I get a call from his nurse, who is calling to remind me that the doctor said, “it might be a little sedating.” I tell her (politely) that that is the opposite of what I said in my message and reiterate for her the effects it was having. In addition, I asked her to request that the doctor (or whoever does this) to send me a message through the patient portal explaining exactly how  titrate down from the former AED. (He had rushed through this explanation at the office visit. There was so much we needed to cover I didn’t have a chance to take notes.) She said she would get back to me THAT AFTERNOON.

    After two weeks had passed with STILL no response from his office, I decided that, given that this physician and I did not seem to  be communicating well, I would change to a different physician in the practice. (Forget communicating, actually. He man-splained, cut me off in mid-sentence, and overall acted like a jerk. But I was willing reluctantly to put up with his delusions of grandeur, i.e. that he is a god-physician, IF HE SEEMED TO PROVIDE GOOD MEDICAL CARE. But the communication problem is a medical issue. So.)

    I called the office and told the gatekeeper (unsure of her title-but you go through her for everything) that I wished to change to a different doctor in the practice and gave her the name of the one who had been recommended (by another one of my docs). First reaction: She was SHOCKED- shocked, I tell you!-that I had the audacity to make such a request. (Surely I’m not the first person in the history of this practice to have done this?) Second reaction: She absolutely did not want to facilitate my request. First she told me I had to go through the patient portal. I informed her that 1) there was no means to do this via the portal and 2) my messages to my current physician were getting extremely misconstrued.

    Here’s the kicker: When she FINALLY agreed to do this,  she informed me that BOTH doctors would have to agree to this transfer. I was rather dumbfounded at this, having never heard of a physician  having “veto” privileges over a transfer. I could understand having to check with my proposed doctor, to ensure he had room in his practice, treated my particular neuro subset of ailments, etc. I told her to please expedite this matter and let me know what transpired. Just to cover my bases, I sent a formal request to my then-neuro asking the same. (And in both I was as always very polite and civil.) I got a call from her the next day saying my transfer had been approved but that I could not get an appt with the new guy until August.

    The more I reflected on this, the more disturbing I found it. Under common law, based on court decisions, all patients have the right to choose the physician of their choice, if the physician agrees to provide services. But I am also a Medicare (traditional, no so-call advantage plan) recipient, so there are specific Federal Guidelines that state that a patient’s choice of physicians must be honored. I believe that this is covered by  U. S. Code>Title 42> Chapter 7>Subchapter XVIII> Subsection 1395a:

    (a)Basic freedom of choice

    Any individual entitled to insurance benefits under this subchapter may obtain health services from any institution, agency, or person qualified to participate under this subchapter if such institution, agency, or person undertakes to provide him such services.

    Though the outcome was ultimately what I wished, I believe I might have a talk with the office manager at my next visit. I want to find out what their exact policy is. (I’m also consulting with a lawyer friend beforehand. not b/c I’m taking any action, just to ensure I have my facts straight regarding this.) But if what the gatekeeper said is true, then I believe this practice is engaging in FOC violations, functionally (b/c not everyone will be as persistent as I)  and certainly at least skirting the edge of violating it, if even by ignorance by the gatekeeper. (And if you work in that job, you should know what you are doing. This sort of thing could open the practice up to all kinds of trouble.)

  • Labels And Identity

    This is how I ID: Ace (asexual); FtN (Female to Neutrois); Aro (aromantic) Queer; Atheist; Progressive. That pretty much covers it. So. I often get asked, “Why use labels? Why not just be yourself?” Here is my answer.

    I use the labels I do because they EXIST now. And for me as an individual, they are wondrous concepts. Imagine spending your entire life seeing the color blue. You could try to describe the color to other people but didn’t really have the words for it. Then later in your life you discover that there are others who see the color blue, also. You find out that there ARE words for this and that BLUE is a color, and for the first time, you are able to talk about it. You are NOT alone in your weird little world, seeing this intense thing by yourself.

     

    So, there’s that aspect of it. Also, I find them useful shorthand that provides a succinct description of who I am. Since those terms are relatively unfamiliar to most in these neck of the woods except for those who take an interest in gender theory,  using them usually gives me an opportunity to give a (very) brief mini-update on nonbinary gender. Most people are open to hearing about it, though skeptical as to whether it exist “really” or if it’s just something that is made-up and  imported from those crazy people in, Idk, California…(much like some folks still think of baby kale or arugula, lol.) I don’t mind this and accept that not everyone will understand or agree. This IS SW VA. But change is coming, however slowly. And I’ll continue to use my labels and ask for my “they/their/them” pronouns. Thank you.

  • Walmart Fails To Deliver

    Amazon VS Walmart: which evil empire do you choose? In this day and age, it seems an inescapable dilemma. As much as I dislike the though of enriching Jeff Bezos any further, I must admit that after a recent with Wally-world’s remote customer service, Amazon STILL provides much better customer service, plus you will get what you actually ordered.

    Here’s what transpired: Walmart had sent me a digital coupon for 15% off, if I use their delivery service, claiming they missed me. This is mystifying, since to the best I can recall I’ve never ordered online from Walmart. But okay, I’ll use the coupon. So I order some items using their two-day shipping option. One item, Burt’s Bees Body Wash For Men, is shipped separated from the other items, and due to arrive Monday (which is actually later than the 2-day shipping promised). Monday comes, no item. Tuesday comes, And I get an email saying that my item has arrived. I check in all the usual spots it could be left-no box. I even go upstairs to look, b/c occasionally a substitute UPS person will take a box there in the mistaken view that I live there, though my mailbox is CLEARLY marked and beside my door-no box there, either. I even text my landlord to make sure no-one from his house received a parcel, just in case. Nope. So it’s clear that no delivery was made.

    I contact Walmart that evening. The first thing that happens when I do so is a roadblock that asks me if I’ve availed myself of these possible options, i.e., have I done my homework before bothering customer service. I’m thinking to myself, “um, yeah. I have.”  So I contact a virtual agent. Our interaction was pleasant enough and went quickly and easily. He sent me a replacement item at no cost with two day shipping. We’ll see if IT arrives. BUT….

    When this has happened with an Amazon item, I’m usually contacted BEFORE the item arrives so I know whom to contact if the item doesn’t arrive. The ONE time I’ve had a problem with Amazon, it was dealt with speedily and dispatch and no-one asking me had I attempted to do this, that, and the other.  And to make up for the inconvenience, Amazon gave me a 5$ credit to use. That’s the sort of thing that makes me much more inclined to go back to Amazon.

  • Transient Blues: Slings And Arrows

    Transient Blues: Slings And Arrows

    I am aghast over an incident that took place today at a local laundromat that I frequent (the Laundry Room, in Abingdon, VA). When it first opened, I had been waiting for transit on a bench out front. I had my laundry by my side and was reading my Kindle. The owner of the laundromat pulls up in his car and informs me that I have to move on. I tell him that I am waiting for transit. He says that transients aren’t welcome, that this facility is only for laundry customers. I gesture to my LAUNDRY BAG and LAUNDRY DETERGENT and reply that I just finished using his laundromat so would it be acceptable if I used his bench, while I waited for my ride? He apologized and told me that I was of course welcome to sit there while I waited. (I didn’t say this but I was also thinking, “Laundry bag. Laundry detergent. Wearing Ralph Lauren. Reading a Kindle. How does that add up to “transient”? ) But whatever.

    Now, I REALLY like his laundromat. It’s always extremely clean; the machines invariably work; I can use my credit card; there’s no annoying country music that proclaims that the white Xtian male is the supreme life form; it is safe, with security cameras even. I can leave my laundry supplies there, should I wish to walk over to Food City for groceries, and know they will be there when I return. The location is another selling point, though that’s going to change, of course, when Food City relocates. But now it’s still nice to walk to do a bit of shopping while I do laundry. BUT…..

    I was sitting in the laundromat this morning. I was not wearing my sometimes uniform of distressed jeans and beloved Docs. I had actually put on chinos (RL, as it happened), a sweater (also RL), as it was chilly, and had on a beanie b/c my head gets cold. Oh, and Uggs. Bear with me, I’ve a reason for this fashion statement. I’ve put my clothes in the washing machine. I have my Method laundry detergent sitting beside me- a bottle which prominently reads: Method LAUNDRY DETERGENT. I have my laundry bag in the chair next to me and a laundry cart next to it. I’m reading my Kindle. So. The ownder of the laundromat comes up to me…and tells me I have to move along. I’m not kidding. I look at him and say: You did NOT just do that to me again? Please tell me you did not just say that ! He THEN asks me if I’m a laundry customer! I say to him: Dude! This is the SECOND time you have done this to me! LOOK AT ME! HELLO??? He starts stammering and telling me the same story about problems with transients that he gave me before. I replied that he might have a problem with transients but I was NOT part of that problem! He told me he was sorry and left in a hurry.

    I put my clothes in the dryer and thought about the encounter. I decided I wanted to make EXTREMELY CERTAIN that he knew what I looked like, so this would not happen again. I walked over to car wash next door, which he also owns, to ensure he got a good long look at me. I wasn’t intending to confrontative, just firm, as I really wasn’t sure this guy did really see me. He had left the laundromat speedily, as he appeared to be embarassed, rightly so. He wasn’t there, but his employees said his son would be there in about an hour and I could address what had transpired with him, and they added that he was a very reasonable person (obviously meaning to contrast him to the person I had encountered). Well, after I had gone back to the laundromat to get my clothes, here comes the owner again! He wanted to apologize more profusely and explain AGAIN about the transients (geeze, I got it the first time) and this time, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse…he pulls out his billfold and tries to give me money! I stared at him, dumbfounded! I thought, ” You just have NO clue, do you?” I refused his money, of course. (How insulting!) I shook my head and told him gently that all I wanted was for this NOT to happen again-to anyone. I obviously was dealing with someone who had…issues. I’m not sure living breathing transients were really his problem. Lol.

  • Another Mass-Shooting in A School

    Yesterday on a one of my social media sites I posted the Indigo Girls song Don’t Give That Girl A Gun (video posted at end of this blog) from their awesome album Shaming Of The Sun, along with the comment that it seemed apropos for so many of the recent school schootings (one of which had involved a female). I had no idea that the very next day I would view with horrow reports of yet another mass shooting at a school, my words echoing in my ears and the song playing its sound track through my mind.

    I keep asking myself: When did “mass-shooting” become a tool in the set of “appropriate responses” in the American psyche? How did this happen? The first shooting I remember remember outside of war or accidental death or natural causes was the Kent State shooting. THAT was devastating. Granted, it was not armed-citizen instigated violence, but it WAS the first non-military-against-enemy violence, (yes, it WAS military, national guard, but it was military-against-civilian), that I can remember as a young person. And for the times, four dead, four civilian dead, certainly counted as a mass shooting (then). How little did we suspect what was to come down the road.

    I just googled “mass-shootings in the U.S.” Depending on which source you use, your answer will vary from 146 to 147. Of course, that answer is now sadly out-of-date, b/c it was written JUST LAST YEAR. There have been thirty-count that-THIRTY (30) mass-shootings in the U.S in 2018, including the one that just occurred in Florida. This data comes from Gun Violence Archive, in case your’re wondering. (www.gunviolencearchive.org/mass-shooting)  Wrap your had around that for a minute and think about our (lack) of gun control. Maybe also contemplate it the next time you see a nice friendly ad for the NRA.

    I can’t imagine what it must be like to be a parent these days. To send your child off to school when this type of thing is a possibility. Or to be a student when there is the chance that one of your classmates will use the opportunity to kill you.  That was not even on the radar when I was in school. The most we had to fear was physical or verbal bullying. These kids face maybe DEATH by the mere act of attending class. I am in awe of their bravery.

  • “Thoughts And Prayers” Won’t Get The Laundry Done-How To Truly Help Someone Who Is Ill

    “Thoughts And Prayers” Won’t Get The Laundry Done-How To Truly Help Someone Who Is Ill

    As those of you who are friends with me IRL or on social media know, I have been very ill recently. First I caught a nasty strain of the flu (diagnosed at the Urgent Care Center) which later developed into atypical pneumonia, acute bronchitis, PLUS the original flu virus. The ER doc also mumbled something about some possible other unspecified viruses, like these weren’t enough, and sent me home with more meds than I could shake a stick at, strict instructions to REST, REST, REST, drink plenty of fluids, and to follow up with my internist. I’m not venturing out anywhere, since I’d have to don a plague mask, carry a bell, and spread the deadly virus wherever I went, thereby being a real buzzkill at any gathering.

    I posted about being so ill on my social media. AAAAANNNDD got the expected “thought and prayers” responses from most BUT from a few people got responses that made a BIG difference in the last week. THEY said things like: DO YOU NEED ME TO DO LAUNDRY? DO YOU NEED ME TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE? DO YOU NEED ME TO PICK UP MEDS? DO YOU NEED A RIDE TO THE DOCTOR? DO YOU NEED ME TO COOK YOU SOUP? Are you seeing a pattern here?

    Now, don’t get me wrong. “Thoughts and prayers” are appreciated. Some of those posting might have actually prayed….a couple were professionals at that, lol, and who knows? I might even be on a church prayer list somewhere! But the point I’m trying to make here is that if you know someone who is truly ill, and you truly wish to do something for them, offer  more than “thoughts and prayers”. Even if it is something so simple as a post containing the latest research that shows that Sambucol is effective as Tamiflu against the flu. That has some content. Or perhaps a humorous post about the flu. These will suffice, should you not be in a position to make a concrete offer of aid, like doing laundry (if the person has no washer and dryer, for instance) or going to the grocery, or making a meal, or whatever. But just saying “thoughts and prayers,” while it SOUNDS nice on FB, is essentially vacuous and meaningless. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh and ungrateful. But in this day and age, after the beating that words have taken from DJT and company, I want to let people know that words matter and actions speak loudly. Covfefe, indeed.

  • Trump and Tears: My Own Personal “Trump Effect”

    When Trump (#NotMyPresident) was elected, I cried. They were NOT tears of joy, believe you me. Little did I know that those tears were merely a bitter, bitter presage of the many tears to follow. From having a President who never reduced me to crying or incoherency, save for a tear here and there of pride in him as he represented us so well on the world stage or lit the WH in rainbow colors when Marriage Equality finally became law of the land, I now have a POTUS who with depressing regularity brings me to fits of actual crying. (And I STILL can’t listen to Le Tigre’s “I’m With Her” w/o breaking down.) His tweets can make me gnash my teeth, to the point that my dentist is concerned. And don’t even get me started on what my psychiatrist thinks, lol. I pointed out that NO-ONE makes meds strong enough to deal with a Trump presidency. He laughed and suggested perhaps I should start a support group. He was joking. But I’m seriously considering it. People (like me) who are now marginalized by Spanky and his gang can use all the help they can get.

    When I heard Trump’s latest, the “shithole countries” remark, I cried yet again. Let me say that before Trump, that last time I had cried was when my last beloved guinea pig died…over TEN years ago. I don’t cry easily. I deal with things and go on. But this man….Here’s why I cried at the “shithole countries” remark:

    First, from just the continuing SHOCK that a sitting PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA would make such a remark. Two, the contrast was immediate to his predecessor. Obama had great empathy and compassion. I highly doubt Trump  ever even tweeted the word “empathy,” let alone experienced it. And I won’t even go into the matters of style and class. Utterly no comparision possible there. Three, I felt such despair at the complete callousness that this displayed towards those from these countries.

    I really endeavor not to hate anyone. I think it a waste of time and energy. But Trump is making me rethink this policy. I’m begining to hate him personally, viscerally, and with vituperation. I dislike what he’s doing to the country but I dislike what he’s doing to me as a person. I’m now: angry; anxious; fearful; tearful; and depressed. MAGA, indeed! Snort!

  • Report on Doug Jones’ Win In Alabama

    A Democrat won in Alabama. Freakin’ ALABAMA! But before we go getting all warm and fuzzy toward the denizens of that benighted state, let me point out WHO exactly  elected Doug Jones: the African American residents, most specifically THE WOMEN! They turned out to vote for him in greater numbers than even for Barack Obama. Now, younger white voters did vote for Jones,esp. in the urban counties, but most of the older white males in Alabama voted for Moore and the majority of white women, even those who were college grads, STILL voted for Moore!

    It’s time for another Transit Report. My ever-faithful Trump-supporting transit driver had this to say: he won’t last (referring to Jones). He went on to explain himself, asking those of us captive, You DO know who voted for him, right? It was the blacks and the  women! When they settle down, everything will go back to normal.

    Alrighty, then. Let’s examine this. Implicit in this is the unstated belief that the white residents of Alabama, most particularly the MEN, are the true citizens and the ones that really matter. And that what is the natural state of affairs is for African Americans and women to KNOW THEIR PLACE and let the white folks-the white MEN- decide things.

    He is a white older evangelical, btw. So not unlike those who turned in support of Roy Moore in Alabama. Like them, he is willing to embrace anyone who claims to speak for (white) Christian values wrapped in a red, white, and blue flag. No matter their character, actions, or words. If they use the right symbols and code words, basically give the correct “not-so-secret handshake and password,” then they are IN. And this seems to be a club that you join for for life. I don’t think you get thrown out. Maybe if you do something like, Idk, become an EXTREME apostate and reject Jesus in a public manner, convert to another religion or something. But there’s ALWAYS the possibility of forgiveness, b/c these people like nothing better than a repentant sinner. After all, Roy Moore came back to the Alabama Supreme Court after being removed once. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Moore. He turns up like a bad penny.

    But good for the people of Alabama. And regardless of what my transit driver believes, the African Americans ARE residents of Alabama; the younger voters ARE residents of Alabama; and angry women EVERYWHERE who are voting, running for office, and WINNING are legitimate citizens of the United States. No-one is going anywhere.